Weights That Hinder

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On August 20, 2023, this message was originally delivered to the Cherryville Campus of Bethany Wesleyan Church. If you watch that message, you’ll notice that it ends slightly differently. That is partly because August 20th is my wife, Julie, and I anniversary. For this message, you’ll want to have read Hebrews 12:1-3.

You can find the live video version of this message delivered on August 20, 2023 by clicking HERE. May this message encourage and empower the work of Jesus Christ in your life.

Sometimes I need to practice saying no.  Okay, not sometimes. All the time. For the most part, I am not great at it.

You can ask my wife, I struggle with this even in little situations.  At a restaurant, if I am asked – “Do you want dressing on your salad?”  Hearing me say – “No, if it isn’t on the side, I send it back.”   Yeah, you’ll probably never hear me say something like that. (Even if it is a great ‘Office’ reference.)

‘NO.’  How is it that such a small word carries so much weight? It really is a powerful word.  

  • My guess is that some of us need to learn to say no.  
  • Because of its weight, some of us do say it regularly, but we need to learn to say no more kindly.
  • Most of us, probably need to learn a better balance on when is the right time to say no.  I am definitely there.

The opposite word – ‘yes’ – is usually pretty great.  It is often easy to say and it is easy to receive.  We want to hear yes and we love telling people yes.  The world is looking for yes.  There are books out there about the power of yes.  We see power is saying yes, a lot, whenever possible.  Getting the chance to work in our church office and with the staff, I try to say yes whenever possible.  It encourages, enables, empowers, uplifts.  

I save my no’s for when they are truly needed.  But isn’t that the key, sometimes we have to say no.  Sometimes the biggest difference is made in a very key strategic no.  We still don’t like to say it.  We certainly don’t like to hear it.  But that no is powerful.

In these moments together, we are talking about saying no.  Not just generally, although you may find that point in some other piece of scripture. It can be a valuable habit.  We’re looking at saying no in one particular conversation.  And where no is concerned, it is probably the most important one.  It is when no is both the hardest to say and to hear.  To give and to receive.  It is the no’s we say to ourselves.  

We are in a message series speaking about being ‘Free to Fly’.  The idea is that we want to be enabled, empowered to live out our faith.  To live for Jesus.  To pursue God.  To live what we know of from John 10:10, what Jesus came to give us – life to the fullest, an abundant life.  This understanding of saying no to ourselves plays a large part in pursuing God, in living for Jesus.  So may we see the value in discovering the power of saying no to ourselves – and then actually doing it.

God, we ask that You’d be with us in this discussion. May our lives and all that we are be Yours.

Why would anyone want to say no to themselves? I get it.  The whole premise of this message, this thought, sounds a little funky, a little off.  Who talks about something like this?  And who actually does it?

To understand why we would even think about doing this, let’s understand our goal.  What is it that we are trying to accomplish?  

In scripture, we are look at the start of Hebrews 12.  Hebrews 12 is the chapter directly following Hebrews 11.  You’re welcome, once again, math has entered the conversation!  This fact actually is important.  Hebrews 11 is the faith chapter.  As a child, I memorized Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  Hebrews 11 continues to then talk about so many individuals in history that accomplished great things by faith. They believed in God and then adjusted their lives and lived with God as their priority. They lived for God. That is living by faith.  “By faith Noah…. By faith Abraham… By faith Moses…”  By faith, they did wonderful things.  

That is our goal – prioritizing God and through that bringing about great things, wonderful things, life to the fullest.  Here is where chapter 12 adds so much value. Chapter 12 actually clarifies it even better for us to live out.  Our goal is to run this race, locked in and moving towards Jesus.  Keeping our eyes on Him. Moving toward Him. That is living faith.

That is our goal – faith that gets us to Jesus.  Jesus is the goal.  What do we have to do to get to Jesus?  Well, any guess it involves saying ‘no’ to ourselves?

Hebrews 12:1-3, our main scripture for this conversation.  The key part that we are focusing on is a part of verse 1.  In the NIV Translation it says, “let us throw off everything that hinders.”  In the NLT – “let us strip off every weight that slows us down.”  Others like the New King James say something more like, “let us lay aside every weight.”

It is important that we understand what is being communicated with the word ‘weight’.  What are we to know?  This word does refer to a weight, a mass, a heaviness. My favorite translation said – an encumbrance.  That sounds fancier, doesn’t it?  

There is an encumbrance that we are being instructed to put down.  So what is it? That is a great question – thank you for asking such a great question!  The easy answer is to just assume that it is sin.  It mentions sin soon after in this scripture. It could be sin, but it isn’t limited to just sin.  That is too easy.  

The weight is anything in this world, in our lives, in our lifestyles, that holds us back from seeking, grasping, racing towards our goal, Jesus.

That weight, it isn’t necessarily good or bad.  It doesn’t have to be something that is a right or wrong issue.  It is anything that stops us from making our best effort to Jesus and for Jesus.  

So we come back to this, yes this –  are we willing to say no to ourselves?  

At the writing of this, if you put a microphone in our house, you would hear the word ‘no’ said a lot.  We have a new kitten.  His name is Grogu.  He is fantastic.  He was rescued from our back yard.  He is filled with love and energy in equal amounts.

Grogu gets told no a lot right now.  My favorite, (this is wonderful) there is a certain house plant of my wife’s. We will say that I don’t love it.  On the other hand, our kitten absolutely loves it.  It is big, he can’t get in the pot (not sure what would happen if he could…), but he can massacre the leaves.  Again, this is wonderful. He runs full tilt across the room to tackle it. He will stand cutely beside it only to suddenly rip leaves right off. It is fading fast.  He hears no, but he goes right back.  Clearly, he hasn’t learned no yet.  Then there is our older cat, Eclipse, he hears no and he has developed an understanding. He is still a cat, but at times he even immediately course corrects.  

We need to develop an understanding of how saying no to ourselves matters. May we recognize the need in our lives to have moments where we course correct.

I don’t like saying no to myself.  I have to hear that from the world.  I don’t want to hear it from myself. But that is what this scripture is telling us.  There is a lot out there in our world – good and bad and somewhere in between.  Not all of it, in fact probably not most of it, gets us to Jesus.

This is difficult because we don’t have a set of rules.  And I don’t want to create one for you.  I have no interest in policing this or forcing opinions on you.  That leads to legalism. It isn’t what we do or who we want to be. We probably all know some clear things in this world that aren’t good for us.  But there is a lot that isn’t so clear and it may impact all our lives differently.  

Like so much else in this world, this is a battle with our own selfishness.  We have to personally decide: Do I just want this thing, because I want this thing? Is it about me and some desire I have?  Does this thing, this lifestyle, this relationship get me to Jesus, or is it a weight that is stopping God’s work and Jesus’ clear presence in my life?

Again, I won’t tell you what it is in your life.  But let us ask some probing questions:

  • What habits are weighing us down from getting to Jesus?  I have known people, we have probably all known people that a certain substance is that thing. Does alcohol get you to Jesus? Remember – the question isn’t, “Is this bad?” The question is – “Does this get me to Jesus?”
  • I got one for me – technology.  This is a habit. I don’t think I watch garbage, but is my pad or phone a distraction, a weight, from who I could or should be?  Understand, when this is a real thing, you will find excuses all over! For me, I need some decompression, brain time. Is that true? Yes. Do I lean into that too much? Absolutely. If I don’t say no, if I don’t set up healthy boundaries, then it definitely isn’t helping me get to Jesus.
  • Relationships are a big one.  What relationships am I pursuing, right now?  Are they for me?  Are they healthy? How do they impact others in my life? And the biggest question – do they draw me closer to Jesus?  Or is something else happening?  This is probably the hardest area to say no to ourselves and the easiest are to make excuses!  
  • What about what we fill ourselves with?  Politics, opinions, where we get our news, what we dwell on, what we have to throw into conversation.  It is drawing me closer to Jesus?
  • And one more – what about our feelings? Please know, feelings are natural and they aren’t sin. But are we dwelling on certain feelings? Are they controlling us? Driving us? Impacting how we live? For example, is there an anger in our life that has become a weight? We like that anger, don’t we? We make excuses for it.

Relationships, lifestyle, the way we use or prioritize our money, work, issues and opinions, the stuff we own, the attitudes we have – does it get me to Jesus?

I know this isn’t fun or easy.  Saying no when it matters really never is.  But this is part of being a mature Christian.  Taking regular moments to ask these important questions, this matters. We don’t just have easy black and white issues.  Sometimes we have to say, this thing isn’t sin, but it doesn’t help me get to Jesus.  So while I could say yes, for me, I will say no, for Jesus! 

May we remember, this is all about Jesus.  He is the goal.  What Hebrews 12 also shows us is that He is also the example.  

It is what He did for us on the cross.  He said no. He made a hard selfless decision.  He could have said yes to a decision to protect himself.  Yes to comfort.  Yes to power.  Yes to happiness in the moment.

What does our scripture today say He did?  He chose faith. He chose prioritizing God. He chose the joy that comes on the longer path, the eternal path, the course of knowing His decisions impacted the world. His faith would be the greatest faith story, the greatest story.  

Yes, we may have to say no to happiness in the moment.  To comfort and to power.  But we have a chance to be a faith story that has an impact.  And we can find joy in knowing that we are growing closer and closer to Jesus.  For now and for eternity.  

Are we willing to say no to ourselves?

I learned this lesson early in my ministry.  I want you to know, that I still need regular reminders though.  Say no to myself.  Do it.

If you know me, you know I joke about my hair.  My hair is fairly fantastic, right? RIGHT? I enjoy spiking my hair and having fun with it, but back in the day… Well, back in the day I had real hair. Long hair. Fantastic hair.  When I first went into ministry I had wonderful long hair, that my wife doesn’t miss. (Ergo – why it doesn’t exist any more.)

I remember going to my first interview for a pastoral position.  (I would get the job. You didn’t expect anything different. C’mon.)  Before the interview, my dad asked me if I was going to cut my hair.  I said no. They wanted someone to work with youth, the hair didn’t hurt at all. In fact, it super helped.  

I remember thinking, though, if I ever needed to, I would.  I really liked my hair, but I wanted to be what Jesus needed me to be more.  Hair is a fairly silly thing, important to me, but I want to say no to anything that stops me from being all that I can for Jesus.  

I want to make my best effort for Jesus.  I want to give my best effort to Jesus.

I have learned that If I said no to myself, God could reign in my life.  

  • If I said no to myself, I’d have a better chance of being the husband I knew I could be.
  • If I said no to myself, maybe just maybe, I could figure out this parenting thing.
  • If I said no to myself, people would see Jesus in me.  
  • If I said no to myself, I got a little closer, and a little closer, to Jesus.

My guess is that right now we could be a little closer to Jesus.  Will we do it?  Will we say no to ourselves?

New Year’s Thought – 2024

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So here we are again – New Year’s time. At this point, all the fireworks have gone off, the shrimp cocktails eaten, and the differing objects (depending upon your community) dropped. For real, look up on Wikipedia all the items that communities drop for New Year’s. Pennsylvania has the best list. (This is going to be a future sermon illustration.) My favorite may be the stuffed goat, or beaver. No, it is probably the bag of potato chips. 

I don’t have a lot of traditions around the New Year. Our family celebrates New Year’s lightly. Usually there is a good meal involved. Sure, I am Pennsylvania Dutch, but I have no plans to “enjoy” sauerkraut at any point of the year. That tradition did not get passed along to me. This year we had a beef roast. It was browned and then roasted with bacon, onions, carrots, and other deliciousness. On the side – cheesy grits. This may not sound like a combo, but it is good stuff. This meal would destroy any meal you can put together with rotten cabbage or whatever grey plant you decide to smell your house with to meet tradition. 

What does the New Year’s season usually mean to me? The easy thing to say is that it is a time to make changes, adjustments, course corrections, and more. This is true and it is not just about if I ate too much over the holidays. (The answer to that is yes.) I will adjust that and while I am at it, I probably need to recalculate how much time I spend on electronics. This is something that I do and I would encourage everyone to consider. With that said, these course corrections often seem to be minor. And if they are not minor, they often seemed forced to a place where they don’t really happen. 

There is a greater opportunity that often happens in my life at New Year’s. I feel it stirring this year. It isn’t a change as much as it is a motivation. At this time of year, I regularly ask myself what is important in my life. And then I aim, drive, shoot, strive for those things. 

This practice usually doesn’t bring about an initial change in my life. It is more about knowing this is who I am, this is who I want to be, this is what’s important, and this is what I want to see happen this year. 

2023 brought a lot of very meaningful change to my life. It was a great year and some big things changed. None of them happened, started, or were even really thought of at New Year’s. But, the intention was there. The intention that these were important priorities of my life.

  • In 2023, I changed up the way I connected with God through Scripture and devotions. 
  • I focused my priorities as a husband and father, seeking to add more time and better effort. 
  • Eating habits and other diet changes were made that resulted in a 30+ pound weight loss.
  • Opportunities aligned for me to return to education and begin a Masters of Divinity degree.

All of these are fairly huge to my life. They could probably be considered semi-life changing. None of them happened from New Year’s decisions. All of them are the result of keeping what is important in life in front of me.

So what am I saying with this thought? We have probably all seen or heard the stats about how most New Year’s resolutions fail within a month. I don’t know if New Year’s is actually the best time for us to be making changes. Sure, most of us ate too much at Christmas, that doesn’t mean we need to dramatically change how we live our lives. 

Make a change or two if you want to, but I would encourage you to do something more valuable. Ask yourself who you are. Ask yourself who you want to be. Ask yourself what matters in this world to you. Discover what your priorities are in life. And then, make 2024 about striving for those things. Make 2024 about living with purpose and direction. Don’t let life drift, live intentionally.

Maybe we do need to make a change or so now. Probably, we just need to be ready, focused, and committed for when opportunity or crisis or clarity arrives. 

Happy New Year’s everyone! 

With Thanksgiving

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This post was originally written as a message for the Cherryville Campus of Bethany Wesleyan Church on November 5, 2023. These are the updated sermon notes, which have been edited for this post. You can find a video of that message HERE. That sermon was titled, ‘Remember to thank God.’

One thing to understand in this post: it came about from two different purposes colliding. First, I was asked to speak on this passage of scripture, Luke 17:11-19, for a Thanksgiving themed message (it is probably best to read that scripture before the post). Second, I have been studying spiritual disciplines and had started to explore the idea of thanksgiving as a spiritual discipline. With that in mind, I hope this is meaningful to you.

Today is November 5th, the first weekend of November, the first Sunday of November.  What does that mean?  That means it is officially full-swing Christmas Season. 

I know, I know.  Around half of us here are saying, NO WAY – this is fall season, turkey season!  And around the other half of us here are further saying, NO WAY – it has been Christmas season for at least three weeks!! The rest of us are just sitting back, eating our popcorn, enjoying this can of worms that was just opened.

I don’t know that I have a strong opinion on this.  It almost changes year to year depending on what I am feeling.  This year, I am slightly feeling that Christmasy feeling. I don’t know why, I just am. It is November 5th and I am feeling Christmas.  

Whatever your feelings are, may we admit that Thanksgiving and Christmas are forever intertwined, connected, even reliant upon one another.  Thanksgiving is the start of Christmas, it is mini-Christmas, it is the Christmas warm-up.  

What I have come to realize is that Thanksgiving is actually very essential to Christmas.  While Thanksgiving is a Christian topic, the word thanks is in the Bible around 72 times and gratitude around 157 and Jesus gave thanks at least 7 times, we mostly approach thanks as an easy, hum-drum, this isn’t deep kind of topic.  

Please hear – this is an essential topic to each of us as Christians.  Essential to our faith walk with God.  

Further, if you find yourself like me, where Christmas isn’t always what it used to be, you don’t always feel it – a deeper understanding of Thanksgiving is going to go a long ways in helping restore that Christmas feeling to your life!  

What are we looking for in these moments together?  Please understand this:

  • Thanksgiving, thankfulness will set the best stage for Christmas in our lives.
  • Thanksgiving will offer us a lens to view life in a more meaningful way.  
  • Most importantly – Thanksgiving will open our hearts to God’s work and change in it.  

In scripture, we look at a moment where real life change came to an individual because of their desire to offer thanks.  May we learn from this moment!

May God reveal to us the importance of the practice of thanksgiving and may we have ears to hear His Will in these moments together.

PRAY:  God – be with us now as we seek Your Word and Your Will.  We open our hearts to You now.  We love You and we seek You.  Guide us – AMEN.

In Luke 17v11-19, we find a moment where thanksgiving, gratitude, changes the life of an individual in the biggest way.  

10 men with leprosy connect with Jesus.  We don’t know much about these 10 men, we don’t need to know much because we know the big deal to their situation – they have leprosy.  

This has put them outside society.  Jesus is traveling at this border area, an outcast kind of area.  These men can’t even approach Jesus fully, they have leprosy.  We don’t know what nationality they are.  We know one is a Samaritan and by the way Jesus speaks, it sounds like some of them were Jewish.  Being on the border area this makes sense.  Outcasts from both societies don’t know where to go, they end up here.  And being outcast and diseased has brought individuals who normally wouldn’t be together, together.  

They are desperate and they are seeking desperate change.

The storyline of the miracle is almost simple, isn’t it?  It is done super quick.  Jesus gives them instructions and as they go they are healed.  

There is a level of faith involved here.  They have to show themselves to the priests to be declared clean, this is part of entering back into society.  A priest would need to clear them.  But they aren’t cleaned, healed, until they start moving.  Then it happens!

My brain plays this out in a way that probably didn’t happen…  Or maybe it did!  

I envision them starting to see healing as they move and then they start walking in slow-mo, just seeing the change.  Seeing scabs fall off – gross.  Seeing skin become pure and clean – less gross.  

They have this walk that turns into a dance.  And then maybe a sprint.  Incredible!  A walk becomes a dance, becomes a sprint, becomes a miracle!  

But there is the bigger deal – their lives are desperately, drastically changed – but maybe not enough.  Not as much as they could have been changed.  

Why not enough?  Because only one returns to thank Jesus.  Here is the thing – Jesus’ miracle changed their bodies.  But this man’s thankfulness opened the door for Jesus to bring real change to his heart.  

There is a strong connection between what a spirit of thankfulness can do to allow our hearts to change, to grow, to be molded by God. 

Thanksgiving is about change!  

  • One man returned to Jesus.
  • One man opened his heart to thankfulness.
  • One man, one man out of 10, would truly be changed!

THANKSGIVING IS ABOUT CHANGE!

What is Thanksgiving about?  Say it with me! CHANGE!!

My interactions with Thanksgiving have changed over the years.  Even turkey was impacted for me once.  True story.  I have experienced 6 years of no turkey.

We talk about pastors facing stress and pressures in today’s world, there is one area that we don’t consider when it comes to the trials that pastor’s face.  Or maybe specifically pastor’s families…. Pastors and their families have to often eat other people’s food.  

Now before you brush this off, I ask:  Do you want to do it?  And do it with a smile on your face?  Do you?

Please hear this, I approach this lightly and I am being silly.  A few clarifications: I love all your food (some of you have given me dessert type items recently and they have all been delicious, maybe not healthy but delicious), this is clearly about other people.  Also – this isn’t the normal tradition as much any more and that is fine.  Finally, realize that I am a picky eater.  This is mostly about me.  I don’t like change when it comes to food.  Ever.  If I like something a certain way, I like it that way!  

My dad was a pastor, this was during the day and age when it was regular to have your pastor over for dinner.  As a child, I was taken to a lot of “dinner experiences”.  I remember one situation with my mother giving an 8-10 year old me a pep talk as I faced lumpy mashed potatoes.  People, they were so lumpy – this was the greatest trial I had ever faced in my life to that point.  

My dad made amazing mashed potatoes.  His work with butter, milk, and a hand mixer – it was a gift from God.  Here I was, being served a ham dinner, lumpy mashed potatoes, and somehow there was no ham gravy.  No ham gravy!  Catastrophe.  

So one Thanksgiving, our family was given a turkey dinner.  Here is the worst part:  The person told us they were experimenting.  I don’t know what to say other than that I’m not even sure if I tasted it.  Please hear, I am a picky eater, I get that, but we will just say that this was prepared in a unique way.  The look and the smell.  You can ask my wife – 6 years.  6 years, I didn’t have turkey.  I am just now coming back.  

I don’t like change.  I don’t often want to change.  But Thanksgiving is change.  If we want it or not, it changes.  We want Thanksgiving to be the same, same tradition, history, same feeling, but it changes.  Thanksgiving changed when I went to college, when I got married, when I had kids, when I moved, when my mother passed away days before.  

What if we just embrace that thanksgiving means change?  Thanksgiving has brought a lot of changes to my life, good and odd.  But it is true, when I have opened my heart to real thanksgiving, it has changed.

Expect real Thanksgiving to change you.

In scripture, God used a Samaritan individual as the one who would change here on purpose.  It was done to draw out the significance to the Jewish people of this truth.  This was not their person, and yet, they were changed, forever changed, because they opened their heart to thanks.  

He offered thanks and it opened not just his body to be well, but his heart to wellness as well. That is what Jesus meant here when He said ‘your faith has made you well.’  

Thanksgiving, thankfulness, gratefulness, giving thanks – all of these are there to offer us a heart check.

If our heart is really thankful or not, it shows a clear truth about our relationship status.  I’ll admit, I can’t force thankfulness.  If I don’t really feel it, then I don’t really mean it.  But the other 9 men healed with leprosy, I wonder.  I do think they were thankful to Jesus.  How could they not feel it?  But they didn’t take time, take focus, to allow thankfulness to dwell in their lives.  They had to get to the priests, they probably had family to see, they no doubt had life to return to.  

How much more is THAT our story?  Not that we’re not thankful to God, not that we’re not thankful to others – life just moves on.  And we don’t make it a focus.  

But if we don’t make it a focus, thanksgiving doesn’t happen, and we miss an opportunity for heart change.  

Please listen to this:

*Having a heart of thankfulness, intentional thankfulness, will restore order to our relationships.  

*Praise, thanksgiving, gratitude returns our relationship with God and with others to their rightful place.  

*The real purpose of thankfulness is not what it means to others (although it is meaningful), it is what it means to our hearts.

Let’s talk about others for a second:  When we have a rough moment in our marriage, in our family, in our friendships, at our work, wherever, you name it – how would that moment change if we were more aware of all the reasons we are thankful for that person? It would change dramatically.  

It is a simple practice, but when I realize all that I am thankful for with my wife, Julie, my heart re-aligns and I realize that whatever I thought I was right about doesn’t even matter and that I am an idiot.  

Do you ever get irritated with family members or friends?  Oh sure, me neither.  But maybe sometimes, I do get irritated.  Maybe.  When I remember what these people mean to me, to my kids, what they do, how they love – wow.  The irritation doesn’t matter so much does it?  My heart re-aligns.

What about with God?  Do you ever feel irritated with Him?   It happens, doesn’t it.  

Thankfulness sets perspective for our hearts.  It opens the door to see the world properly.  It allows our hearts to be changed.  We need to have hearts that are open to God’s work.  Thankfulness, thanksgiving, gratitude do that.  They keep everything in the right perspective.  They bring order to our hearts.  

So what do we do with this?  Especially as we come into the season of Thanks?

I do consider this an everyday topic for an everyday lifestyle.  My thought for myself and for all of us is this:  If this topic is so “standard” and everyday – are we doing this regularly, everyday?  Is Thanksgiving a part of our every day, every week walk with God?

I have been studying Spiritual Disciplines recently.  Spiritual Disciplines are the things we regularly participate in that draw us closer to God.  Prayer, reading the Bible, devotions, fasting, attending worship services, etc.  

Thanksgiving/thankfulness isn’t often on Spiritual Discipline lists.  It is often one of the first things we encourage people to do when they pray, but I actually feel like Thankfulness should be a discipline in itself. It is something we need to intentionally, with discipline, add to our regular lives.  

I’ll tell you this – when I am intentionally thankful, I think and I live differently.  I love and care for other people in a much more meaningful way.  

So this November and December – I am going to be intentional to offer thanks.  I actually have it on my day-planner – intentional Thanksgiving to God and to others.  I want a heart open to God’s work and change.  

Every night, I practice this.  I drink a lot of water, and so around 3AM every night, that water impacts me.  After taking care of the water, I find myself awake.  Awake and worrying about the world. I am a parent, I don’t need situations in the world to bring me worry, I have plenty.  But oh, how it has impacted my life, to use that time differently.  Instead of spending those moments on all the things in the world I can’t control, I focus on thanking the One who has everything in control. 

I encourage you to do the same.  

  • See what it does to your outlook on life.  
  • See what it does to your heart and your openness to God’s work in it. 
  • See how it changes your holidays – Thanksgiving and Christmas.  My guess, you’ll be in a renewed Christmas spirit if thanks is involved.  
  • Maybe most importantly – see what it does to your relationships, with others and most importantly with God.  

Go and offer thanks!  

Fear

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(The following was part of a sermon delivered towards the end of 2015 at North Collins Wesleyan Church.  It felt a bit more relevant then, but I thought it was still worth sharing.)

Over the past few months I have noticed a growing sickness spilling from the hearts, minds, attitudes, mouths, and even social media pages of Christians.  There is an overwhelming plague against the attitude of joy and gladness that we Christians are supposed to have.  A plague that is attacking our spirits and hampering our impact on the world right now.  That plague is called FEAR.

Fear can be a ridiculous thing.  Recently, YouTube and social media has been blowing up with a new cat discovery.  People are placing cucumbers close to their cats, without the cat’s knowledge.  The results are often incredible.  For some reason, when a cat is faced with the unexpected arrival of the long green cucumber, it often decides to spaz out, in a big way!  (This is for real, look it up on YouTube!)

Why does this happen?  No one really knows.  Maybe because it’s unexpected or outside the norm.  Maybe because the cat mistakes it for a snake.  Maybe because the idea of eating a vegetable is the worst.  (Although my previous cats always got really excited when I gave them an olive.  Really excited, too excited, like – get a room, cat.)  Maybe because the cat just wants to confuse their human owners.  From what we all know about cats, this seems like the most logical answer.

Well, for whatever reason – the fear and the response are simply ridiculous. But then again, that is the nature of fear, it is usually ridiculous.  Especially for Christians.  Especially for anyone who says their faith is placed in God, the Ruler and Creator of our world.  Our God, Who controls the world, Who loves us completely, Who has our future on earth and for eternity taken care of.  Fear seems very out of place in our lives.

So let’s get to the point.  It is clear that our nation and culture is struggling with what to do with the refugee situation, quite possibly Christians most of all.  This is a situation about which I can’t and won’t tell you how to feel.  That’s not going to happen.  To be honest, I struggle with different feelings myself.

I know God wants me to love and care for all the people of this world.  That is the #2 commandment for the world given from Jesus! (Next to love God!)  I also know and feel the pressures of being a parent.  My family is my #1 ministry.  Their protection is important to me.  As Mel Gibson once said in the movie The Patriot – “I’m a parent, I haven’t got the luxury of principles.”  The desire to protect my family is very real in my heart.

I also struggle with understanding if and how my actions (and the guidelines for those actions) as a Christian individual, living for Jesus Christ, should be different from the actions of the United States of America (if we consider this country Christian or not).  Our nation needs to make decisions for the health of a nation, I need to make decisions for a life dedicated to Jesus Christ.

I say that all to clarify that I will understand wherever it is you feel you fall on this matter.  It is not easy and it is not clear.

But I do know this is very clear – we cannot be people of fear.  Fear cannot drive us, fear cannot motivate us, fear cannot be our response.  We, Christians, are not people of fear.

Fear cannot play a part in the lives of Christians, it simply can’t.  We know too much about who rules and controls the world.  Our Faith is built upon something too great for fear to play a part.

As Psalm 100:5 (NIV) says…
For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.

As 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) says…
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

You, my dear Christian friend, know too much to let fear drive your life, your actions, even your posts on Facebook.  Through God, we have power, we have love, and we have the ability to make wise choices because we have been empowered.

Allow your faith to have the place it deserves in your life, behind the steering wheel.  Do not allow fear to kill the opportunities in your life to stand in God’s power and show God’s unending love.  Instead, cast a message to those in your world that you know who rules the world and therefore you will make decisions out of power and love.

Maybe in the past few weeks, because of fear, you’ve said a few things or felt a certain way that was ridiculous.  Know now that fear has no hold on your life.  Take control.  Live, rather, in power and love.

General Tso’s Chicken

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I LOVE Chinese food.

I love everything about it.  It is wonderful for my belly in some of the best ways – taste and um…taste.  Delicious!

I find that there are usually two kinds of people when it comes to Chinese food:

  1. First are those like myself.  These kinds of people realize the delicious saucy goodness that it is.  They love the taste, the smell, the look, everything!  And just me mentioning it is driving those people crazy right now.  They want it!  They may even get some at some point today or tomorrow, just because it’s on their mind! (I’m sorry about that…no, I’m not.)
  2. Then there is the other type.  These people have preconceived perceptions of Chinese food.  It’s “different”. The smell is “odd”. The look is definitely not “right”. They’ll think things like – Who wants to eat all this rice?  Is it supposed to be gooey like that?  What is this meat that I’m actually eating?  These people ask too many questions!  Why does it matter if this place is “sanitary”?  The food is good!  And who really believes the rumor about “cats”?  Sure, those rumors started from probably true experiences… but how does that affect the deliciousness I’m about to eat right now?

Here are my key rules when eating Chinese food.  Follow these and you will be good to go!

  • Don’t ask questions!  Just enjoy.  I know this sounds like bad advice, but do you really want to know the answers to the questions you’re about to ask…
  • When at a Chinese restaurant, in almost all cases, don’t use the bathrooms!  Enough said.
  • Stick to the basics!  Don’t go off the beaten path.  If it sounds odd, it probably will be.  If you don’t expect that they have fresh seafood at this location, they definitely don’t – eat chicken or beef.  Stay with the meals that others order and that are guaranteed to be good.

Here is that most basic rule and #1 rule:  If you’ve never had Chinese food before, order General Tso’s Chicken.  And be ready for your life to be changed FOREVER!

This is easily the most popular Chinese food in America – General Tso’s Chicken.  It is so delicious and wonderful – for real!  The combination of crunchy and soft, sweet and spicy – perfection!

I like General Tso’s Chicken so much that the other day I watched a special on it.  I was curious – who is this wonderful general?  And why is his chicken so amazing?

You know what I found out?  Disappointment.  It’s not his chicken!  General Tso is apparently a popular general from Chinese history.  He was a general for his people.  Super loved.  But the thing he is most famous for (at least with me) – his chicken – is not even his.  It wasn’t invented in China.  It wasn’t around in his day.  Where he was from they didn’t even eat food that was sweet and spicy.  He never had chicken close to this!

MIND BLOWN!  We have been fed, literally fed, a lie!  All this time and it’s not even his chicken…

Okay, so I don’t really care.  The chicken is still delicious, and at least it doesn’t sound like General Tso was a bad guy!  But it raises the question – how long have I enjoyed something, partaken in something, and never really knew who or what it was about?  Many of us are Christians just like this.  We say we’re Christians, but we don’t truly know what that means, what we believe, let alone for why or for what reasons.  We like things about Christianity, but we don’t really know God or Jesus Christ for ourselves.

Because of this we often struggle to truly live the life we think we should as a Christian.  We often find purity, holiness, peace, joy, contentment, (the list goes on) out of reach, unattainable.  But how can we be or find those things in Christianity, when we don’t even know the God and Savior upon whom it was founded?

2 Peter 1:3 (NLT) says it simply:

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.

What Peter says is very simple but so important and profound – you want to live a godly life?  Then know God.  It is that simple – KNOW GOD.

You want to grow, mature, further yourself, be useful, make a difference, find peace, live in joy and contentment, purify your heart, reach holiness – then get busy knowing God and Jesus Christ.  Get into God’s Word (the Bible) daily, find devotionals that connect you with God, pray often, listen to God in silence, fill your head with His praise and thanks.  Christianity is a relationship, with God and Jesus Christ.  Relationships take work.  Put in the work to know God.

As 2 Peter 1:3 tells us, God has given us everything we need, the opportunity and tools are in your hands.  Do you have a struggle, a decision, a stress, a pain?  The opportunity for help and guidance to handle this moment is within reach.  You can achieve it.  KNOW GOD.

My Hands Are Full

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I gave my son, Seth, three peanut M&M’s this week.   He’s two years old and he is starting to learn how the ‘system’ works.  So he ate one and then kept the other two in his hands.  He waited a few moments and then he came up to me asking for more.  The two M&M’s were still in his hands.  I shot him a look and was like, uhhh dude, what’s that in your hands, there?  At this point his fingers were turning colors from the M&M’s.  They say they melt in your mouth and not in your hand, apparently whoever tested this theory did not use two year olds in their research.   Seth smiled at me and made a very ‘knowing he was caught’ face.  That rascal.

I don’t know what his plans were exactly.  The M&M’s held an obvious value to him (and every person who likes to eat food in this world!) and he knew he wanted more, but he wasn’t willing to just eat those that he had and spoil the moment of chocolate bliss, until he was guaranteed more.  As I became worried about what he was planning to touch with those multi-colored hands of his, I told him to eat what he had and then we’ll talk about more.

That rascal.  I feel like I should have all kinds of thoughts about this, but mostly I have one very unfortunate thought – this is completely something I would have done!  And truthfully, it is something I do and on a larger scale.  In so many ways, I am that rascal.  I have a lot – time, potential, opportunities, resources, and incredible amounts of love and care to give.  Yet, with that said, so often I find myself wondering what difference I could make if God would only give me more.  I so easily forget, here I stand and my hands are full.

I know I am not alone.  It is so easy for us to stand before God, telling Him we will live for Him, do great things for Him, make a huge difference – just give us the chance, the opportunity, the blessing, the resources – and God, we’ll use it for you.  But our hands are already full.

Your hands are full!  Be encouraged!  There is nothing you need to make a difference in your world, the power is in your hands already!  Lift your head up, clear your focus, and look with fresh eyes – God has you where you’re at for a purpose, make the difference!  You don’t need more, you’ve got all you need.  God has you right where He needs you, use what is in your hands – love, care, provide, uplift, share, empower – shine brightly for Jesus Christ!

God has already filled your life with chances, opportunities, and blessings.  Your hands are full.  Have confidence in God, it’s time to step out with what you have.

And one last little note: you’re probably still a little bit like my son, I know I am, I still want those other M&M’s.  Maybe, just maybe, if you prove to God that you can use what you’ve been given, He’ll be excited to give you something more.  But until then, remember…

Your hands are full.

What We Need

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It happens almost every day around 7:00pm, just like clockwork!  Something changes in our children, and we have to be ready for it.  It is almost like a switch is flipped and they become incredibly needy.  Not needy in a real way.  Needy in a whiney way.  Not needy in an “I have a serious problem” way.  Needy in an “I am just a supreme turd ferguson” way.  There are things that they feel they need to be happy in that moment – a snack, a certain toy, a specific show on TV to watch, a book read to them, and the list goes on and on…

Here is the thing, if you fill that need you have bought yourself a total of five minutes, tops, and then another need arises, and another, and another.  As a parent you can weather the storm, from need to need, or you can realize that there is an actual need and you can fix the situation if you meet that real need.   The need called BEDTIME!

Now this is not the need they want answered.  And most likely, if you suggest that this is the need you’re planning to take care of, expect a fit.  Probably the real kind of fit marked by loss of body control, cries resembling that of a furious squirrel, and potentially comments of the dramatic type (“I’ll never be happy again!”).  This is only further proof that the true need is bedtime.

So as a parent what do you do?  You answer the need that you know is the root of all the problems.  You answer the real need, the one that has brought the unsettledness, discontent, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and disagreeableness.  You know it’s not what they want necessarily, but you know it’s what they need.  So bedtime it is.

In Acts 3 of the New Testament, we see a quick but interesting moment with Peter and John.  On the way to the temple, they walk by a man who has been lame from birth, begging for money, and they decide to help.  This man had expectations on what Peter and John were going to give him.  Expectations on what he knew would be useful for his life – silver or gold.  Peter knew that he didn’t have that to give, but he didn’t allow it to stop him from giving the man what Peter knew he really needed, healing through Jesus Christ.

One of the issues facing Christians right now is the belief that the world doesn’t need Jesus.  While there is often a realization that there is a need in people’s lives, we have become so good at trying to fill that need with one thing or another – money, security, human relationships, pride, attention, prosperity – the list goes on and on.  These are the needs our culture desires filling, when in the end they are just symptoms of the real and true need we can never lose sight of – people need Jesus Christ.

Don’t ever doubt that people still need Jesus.  Maybe all the more because we’re in America.  All this ‘stuff’ we have just complicates matters.  There is still an awful lot of hurt and pain, broken relationships and marriages, misunderstandings and unhappiness, a strong lack of hope and belief in the future, dependence on drugs, money, things, and unhealthy relationships.  Our world right here, right now, needs Jesus, and every individual does.

You have people in your life right now.  They have needs.  Help them with those needs – provide love and care, money and time, friendship and encouragement.  But remember that there will be another need and another and another – until they connect with Jesus Christ.  Give them Jesus.

What is Love

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1 John 4:7-10 (NIV) – Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

When I first started dating my now wife, Julie, she didn’t exactly make things easy for me.  Maybe she had a plan, maybe she was playing hard to get, maybe she was messing with my mind (okay that’s probably guaranteed, haha), but probably it was just her nature.  One of the things I have always loved about her is how she never takes for granted the feelings of her heart.  And I wasn’t going to get her to share something that wasn’t true, even if it left me in an awkward moment (not that I’m not used to that!).

Before we ever knew each other we shared a class my freshman year, her sophomore year, at Houghton College.  She doesn’t remember me being in the class.  Classic.  That just lifts your ego!  We did share a class my junior year, her senior year, that she does remember.  I want to say she remembers me because I was extremely handsome by that point (I’m not ruling this out as the reason), but she probably more strongly remembers me because I stared at her during the class.  Not just a little staring, like a lot, an awkward lot, every single class.  But there she sat, and she just stared back.  Confident.  Secure.

I thought she looked perfectly beautiful, so when that semester ended, and I lost my chance to stare at her, I made sure to track her down and ask her out (first words – “So, you’re Julie right?” – I got skills…).  One moment of hanging out turned into another and then another.  She seemed pretty special.  The moment came where I thought this should be real.  I wanted her to know that I was committed to her.  So I asked her to be my girlfriend, you know, make this official.  Good idea, right?  This is what girls want, right?  Someone forgot to tell Julie that.  She told me no, but to ask again in two weeks.  There’s that awkward moment.  Thankfully she didn’t make me hold on for two weeks.  One week later she told me she couldn’t wait that long – ask her now (I told you I was good looking – stop doubting!).

As things progressed I knew this was right.  I had dated other girls before, but Julie was different, this was clearly right. And so I thought it only made sense for me to tell her that I loved her.  And so I did!  Once again – good idea, right?  This is what girls want to hear, right?  Lock the guy down, get him emotional, did she want it in writing or something? So I do this, tell her I love her, only for her to follow that up with silence.  Hey awkward moment, nice of you to come back.  Yeah, why don’t you just set up a tent, this could be a while.  Three days later.  Three days later, she tells me she loves me.  This is why I love her.  She had to make sure, if she was going to say it, then it was really how she felt.  Yeah, marrying her was a good decision.

This is all the more meaningful because love has gotten distorted over the past, I don’t know, 2000 years.  We see different definitions of love all over the place.   What love truly is has gotten bogged down by pressures of attraction, lust, butterflies, physical appeal, attention, desire, and the list goes on and on.  In so many ways the word, love, has lost all meaning and value.  What does it even mean any more?  If we think we have it, want to say it, want to share it, what really is it?

Love is what life is to be about if we are Christians.  This is what we’re supposed to stand for.  Jesus tells us the two most important things we can do are to love God and to love others.  So what are we to understand love as?  Where can we go to get a great look at love?

The answer is found very clearly in 1 John 4 – the greatest example of love comes from the One Who created it, Who perfected it, Who is it.  God is love and He is the supreme example of love.  He showed us what love truly looks like – unselfish, unconditional, undeserved.

He made a sacrifice. And as this passage says, not because we love Him.  He made the sacrifice because He loves us.

In a world confused at what love is – all we have to do is look to God.  If we want to know what love is, we look at what God did for us.  He is love and He brought love alive in our world; He showed us what it truly could become.  Sacrifice, care, trust, giving, and so much more – that is love, clearly shown from God above.

So match this up in your life.  Take a few days if you need to, leave someone in an awkward moment.  If you feel that there is love in a relationship then that love has to match what we know love to be from God.  Love means there are unselfish and undeserved actions of trust and care.  Following God’s example – if we think there is love, then there will be clear moments of sacrifice.  God’s love shows little of attraction and attention but a clear example of dependability and faith set by continual moments of care and sacrifice.  And take that further – if you have confessed love of someone – that means you have a true desire to be trustworthy, to be dependable, to place yourself on the line for them, deserved or not, and to sacrifice daily with all you have.  If your intention is to love, then these must be there.

Do you have love in your life?  I hope so, just make sure it is real.  I know I’m a pretty lucky guy.  Three days are clearly worth knowing she loves me and knowing this love is real.

When Life is Best

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(The following post was originally written as an essay for admissions to Wesley Seminary.  The point being to give a quick look into the testimony of my life.   A few changes have been made to make it blog-ready.  I hope you enjoy.)

One of my favorite things about being a father is the complete faith my children place in me.  They know I am their father, they know I love them, and they know how special they are to me.  I have demonstrated this to them through my words, my hugs, and my actions throughout their lives.  So moments come where they trustfully place their safety in my hands.  While my son has reckless desires, even my daughter, who is sometimes shy and all the time cautious, loves to find moments to fling herself off a high surface into my arms.  She knows her hope lies in me and her faith says that I’ll catch her.  And catch her I do.

From an early age, I learned that life was best when my faith and trust were placed in God.  I am the son of a Wesleyan pastor and grew up at the Port Ann Wesleyan Church in central Pennsylvania.  Like most kids growing up in church, I can remember multiple moments of decision in my relationship with Jesus Christ.  They happened as early as age five, were brought about through many experiences including camp meetings and movies about the rapture (there is this scene with a guillotine that still haunts me…), and came to maturity through my final years of youth camp.

While all of these moments hold value to me, the experience that truly cemented my faith and certainty in Jesus Christ came through the life and walk of my mother.  When I was around 10 years old my family was informed that my mother had breast cancer, and that it was severe.  In fact, we were told that she had little time to live – doctors were expecting three months.  As my mother began chemotherapy, with no where else to find help, we all turned to prayer.  I can still clearly remember lying in bed at night begging God to save my mom.  And He did.

To the amazement of the doctors, God saved my mother.  She won her first battle with cancer and then throughout the next 8-9 years she would do the impossible and win again and again, as the cancer would appear in new parts of her body only to be defeated.  I cannot tell you in words what an experience like this can do for the faith of a young Christian.  But I can say that I learned to again and again throw myself towards God’s arms knowing and believing that He would catch me.

My mother’s impact on my life doesn’t stop here.  See, it wasn’t just that she defeated cancer.  Her continual dependance on God, her strive to seek His will and follow Him, and her dedication to spiritual growth and development of character was incredible!  She was, and still is, everything I want to be as a Christian – loving, humble, and so filled with hope.  It wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I found out the depth of her love.  As I often prayed for God to save my mother, she prayed to simply live long enough to see her last child, me, raised and off to college.  It is almost too perfect that when she did go home to heaven it was after twice visiting me at Houghton College and seeing that her prayers were answered.

Matthew 18:3 (NIV) – And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

In Matthew 18, I believe Christ isn’t talking about simply believing like a child, but having the humility of a child.  Saying to God not only do I trust you, God, but my life is Yours, do with it as You will.  May Your will be done with my life.  That has been my goal, to continually throw myself into God’s arms and to allow Him to do with my life as He sees fit.  As is always the case with God, He has taken me to places that I never expected.  It is through God’s hand that I went to Houghton College debt free.  At Houghton and without my understanding, God gave me opportunities to serve that provided leadership and creative ministry experience that I would use in years to come (like dressing in a kilt and leading a team of young men in obnoxious cheers…seriously).

After Houghton, God guided me to the first job I applied to, being the Assistant/Youth Pastor at Pine Grove Wesleyan Church. At no point in my life had I felt a specific call to youth ministry, yet I quickly found that God had given me the gifts and graces to excel.  In one year’s time, feeling like I couldn’t possibly be the best candidate, I was asked to become the District Youth President for the Penn-Jersey District.  What a blessing this opportunity has been!  In 2008, God guided me to Bethany Wesleyan Church. Here at Bethany, I serve as the Pastor of Family Ministries, overseeing ministries from Nursery to Young Adults.  Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, Young Adult Ministry – of all my time at Houghton, I never once took a specific class in any of them.  But God has opened these doors for me to serve in life and as long as that is the case – His will be done.

I am 32 years old and I know that another step of faith is coming.  As has been the story of my life, I want to be prepared for whatever faith step God brings my way.  When that step comes, I don’t want to just be ready to take that step, I want to confidently leap forward into God’s arms and everything He has in store!  I know there will be moments of doubt and uncertainty ahead.  But if I have learned one thing from my life it is this – life is best when my faith and trust are placed in God.

When It Hurts – Finding Purpose in Pain

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In a lot of ways my daughter and son have developed into the stereotypical roles of girl and boy.  Stella, my daughter, loves all things pink and purple (and now light blue thanks to a certain Elsa).  Stella enjoys art, dancing, dressing up, accessorizing, painting her nails, and doing her hair.  She likes to snuggle, and when she gets hurt – it hurts!  And she’ll need quite a bit of time and attention, most often from yours truly, daddy (honestly this is the best – the very best).  Now Seth, my son, is not like this.  He likes to growl.  He enjoys trains, trucks, making a mess, and knocking stuff over.  If he can, he will throw something and probably at you (and he has incredible accuracy – so watch your head).  He handles pain differently.  I’ve seen him fall and come up bleeding, only to keep moving to where he wants to be.  Often he wants a boo-boo (yes, I said boo-boo, calm down) recognized, but then he is ready to move.  For him, whatever is happening is usually more important than the pain.

I am very curious as to why there is a difference.  Does the pain feel the same?  Does Seth have a naturally higher pain threshold?  Does Stella better appreciate the love and attention given?  Is Seth just more motivated to keep moving, at all times?  Is Stella more sensitive to when a situation isn’t perfectly in order?  Probably all those factors play a part and I expect there are many more.  But with all that in mind, I come up with one thought:  pain is what we make of it.

From physical to spiritual to emotional, I have faced some pain in my 32 years of life.  Definitely not more than many, but my share.  From broken bones (one little finger has been broken five times – it’s just a finger) to cuts requiring stitches, I’ve had a few normal pains.  A few years ago, I had a bout with diverticulitis.  That was some pain and the eventual surgery wasn’t fun either (I remember handing my wife the morphine clicker and asking her to keep clicking and clicking…and clicking. I don’t care if it hasn’t been seven minutes, try the button!).  Like everyone, I’ve had moments of spiritual doubts.  Times when I’ve been hurt by others, even those I respected or thought cared for me.  And emotionally, life hasn’t been all roses either, losing my mother was easily the toughest moment of my life.  Just like your life, pain has played a part in mine.

So what do I do with pain?  To some degree it is always going to be a part of my life and, like most things in life, I don’t think it has to be negative, must be controlling, or needs to make my life the worst.  Pain is what I make of it.  So what will that be?

1.  I use pain to move forward, never allowing it to hold me back.

Like Seth, I have realized that pain isn’t something that should hold me back.  In fact, some of the best moments come about because of pain.  My wife, Julie, does not love pain.  For most of our life together, I would say she doesn’t do well with it (see me choosing my words carefully – smart husband).  Having kids was a bit of a fear, there is no way around it, birth is going to be painful.  With our daughter Stella, labor meant 28 1/2 hours of uncomfortableness followed by pain.  A few years later Seth was a different experience, his labor came about so fast that Julie was unable to receive an epidural. Yep, birth with no pain meds.  I have never been so proud of Julie, she was so strong.

The fear of pain can hold us back, but if we’re willing to face it, many of the greatest moments and joys of life are found.  I know the pain means nothing to Julie compared to the joy two kids have brought.  I know she’ll face it again.  In many ways the pain makes the parental journey only more meaningful, it illustrates the depth of value she places in her role and life as mother.  The pain that Jesus Christ suffered for me makes my joy all the more valuable.  I appreciate the purpose and meaning my life has, all because of His pain.

In every important area of our life there is a chance for pain – physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Physical pains come and go (or come and stay).  All relationships of value deliver an opportunity to be hurt.  And a walk with God will bring seasons of pain through doubt and misunderstanding.  But in all of this, life is too important for the pain to hold you back.  Allow it to give your decisions further value and continue to move forward!

2.  I keep pain in perspective, and examine the world with a new look on life (and myself).

There are times when I love the opportunity pain creates.  See, every once in a while we are in the kind of pain that debilitates us – we are physically or emotionally zapped (in those moments scream, get alone, do what you need to do).  But, most of the time, pain does not control us and an opportunity arises.

The first opportunity is how we respond while in pain.  I can remember walking through the hospital with a recently broken finger, opening the door for doctors, nurses, and patients, all the while getting looks of ‘shouldn’t I be helping you?’ – I love that!  Even after surgery I tried to be the politest person possible, because pain kept in perspective never stops me from being who I am and remembering what I believe.  Pain gives us an opportunity to show the world what truly resides in our hearts.

There is another opportunity here as well, the opportunity to measure just what sort of person I’d like to be.  Many times we are hurt in relationships by people who misunderstand us or who want to change us.  Pain delivers us a clear view of how the world works, who these people hurting us are, and who we ourselves are.  With this new outlook on life we can move forward with a new change or with simply a better understanding of the world around us.  Pain so often provides incredible clarity.

3.  I allow pain to draw me closer to others.

There are a lot of ways that we connect with other people.  Things that draw us to each other – passions, interests, hobbies, and more.  Maybe we like the same sports teams (Chelsea FC, NY Jets, Philadelphia Phillies), enjoy the same food (Who doesn’t love General Tsos Chicken?  Don’t tell me if it’s you, or our relationship will never be the same.), or enjoy driving the same car (I miss my old Mazda Protege – for real).  But few things connect to all of us like pain does.

Pain makes us real to each other.  Few things catch people’s attention, their heart, their sympathy like pain does. And it unites us so strongly!  Having experienced fairly major surgery has made other people more real to me and I imagine the reverse is just as true.  Who doesn’t feel over a broken heart – we have all been there.  When we turn to heaven in anger from our grief, we find ourselves in a place so many others have been.

This is why Jesus Christ is so compelling.  To face the physical pain of torture and execution is one thing, but to face the pain of feeling the weight of the world’s sins and the distance of God His Father, this is a pain beyond our understanding.  And when we realize He did this for us, it is almost to much to believe. Yet, my heart cries out for what He did and I cling to Someone who would give so much.  His pain has brought me to His feet.

I will never say that I enjoy pain and I may never come to fully understand why we all respond to it differently.  But it is a part of my life and I’ll make of it what I decide.  Don’t allow pain to control your life.  Harness it, use it, and grow from it.  Become a better you because of it.  Above all remember the part pain played in the salvation of the world.  May your use of pain draw others to a better knowledge of the sacrifice Christ made for them.  For through the pain He shouldered, He opened the door for a day where we will finally be free from it.