I find it funny to realize that for a chunk of my life the most valuable thing my wife and I owned was her wedding ring. Early in our marriage it was easily worth more than both our cars combined (although my Mazda Protege was really something special in a “how are you shaking so much but still running” sort of way). Like everyone else, I have things that I feel hold value (just look at my shoe collection), but I never understood being responsible for something of true value until I had kids.

I take parenthood very seriously. I am responsible for health, growth, laughter, and learning. There are so many integral parts to being a parent and they’re all important – but the development that I take most seriously is that of character. I desire for my children to not just be Christians, but to live a life that exudes the character of Jesus Christ. I want them to be shining lights for God through action, attitude, and word.

Making that happen is a lot easier said then done. Somehow my parents did it with five kids. I don’t totally know how they did it, but I know a few keys that I have tried to emulate. One of those keys is the communication of values. There are three specific things that they valued that I believed was passed to each of us five. Three values that if I can pass on to my kids I know I’ll have taken a huge step in the right direction.

1.  To value God.

Did you ever have to leave soccer practice early to go to church?  Oh man, I did – every, single, fantastic, friends watching, Wednesday.  Could it have hurt to miss a few Wednesday night church activities?  Probably not.  Did I learn anything incredibly fantastic on those nights?  Nothing life changing (although I did win the all prestigious CYC John Wesley Award – which currently resides in my office…with a mustache sticker on it).  Would I be any different today if I had missed those nights and been able to stay at soccer practice?  I doubt it.

Yet every Wednesday night I had to stand up in front of my friends, the ‘cool’ kids, my coaches, and others and leave practice to go to church.  I probably didn’t learn anything huge or have a life changing moment on any of those nights, but I learned one super valuable lesson – God comes first.  I feel like we make so many excuses to put God in the back seat.  There is no excuse not to pray, no reason not to invest time into God’s word, and no schedule full enough to stop you from steadily worshiping God with others.  God comes first.

How have you taught your children that God comes first?  How have they seen you put God before other things?  Following God isn’t an “if or when” – it is very clearly a “before all else.”  If I can get my children to grasp this, think about the base their life already has.  Boom!  I mean seriously – boom!

2.  To value others.

Growing up I can remember multiple quiet family nights that were ruined by the ring of the doorbell.  It could have been a lot of things – the couple down the street having marriage problems, a person from the community in need of physical or financial help, or maybe just someone who decided to “visit.”  For my parents it meant that even though they had already had a busy day – their evening was gone.  Don’t misunderstand, they made lots of time for family and when needed they set boundaries with people, but so often when others needed help they were there.

As a kid on the inside I saw the “bother” this created (I know, I know – ‘bother’ what am I, British?).  These nights were a hassle, a pain, an interruption.  But this is the kind of thing you do when you care about people.  I can remember my mom in the midst of a battle with breast cancer taking time for others expecting nothing in return.  People have value.

To me this is what being like Jesus is.  This is what it means to be a ‘Christian.’  To love others doesn’t mean we give up what we believe, nor does it mean we have to ‘be fine’ with everything someone else wants to be.  It means we think they’re important enough to give them our time, our care, our attention, and our love.  If my children weakly value others they’ll be fine allowing people to walk life where they are. If they truly value others they’ll have a burning desire to bring people to Jesus Christ.

Have your children seen you put others first?  Have they seen you make selfish decisions or sacrificial decisions?  Are you someone they and others can bother or do they know not to take your time and space?  Again, think about a child who grows to value God and then others.  That might just be scriptural (wink – Matthew 22:36-40).  That might just be super powerful.

3.  To value themselves.

In the Leininger household we rarely went halfway with something. If you were involved with something it was expected that you gave it your all and succeeded. In school there were really just two grades: the expected ‘A’ and the sometimes with a good excuse “B”. I don’t remember getting anything else and I am not sure what would have happened if I did. Sports brought the same expectations. I can remember after one soccer game my father telling me to not worry about the coach and about passing but to just get the ball and go. Don’t get me started on his lamentations about me dropping baseball to play soccer. He knew I was good at baseball (I was pretty much shut down at second base and I did score the winning run in my 6th grade championship game) and success was the goal.

I didn’t always enjoy some of those pressures at the time, but looking back I am thankful for them now. I was taught to expect to succeed and to work, to be aggressive, and to strive to make that reality. And this wasn’t just with grades this was with everything, this was with life. I am valuable.

My heart, my mind, my purity, my knowledge, my potential, my future, my love, my work – it all has value. Our children are so valuable. Our culture teaches them to give it all away to join the crowd. Be different – help them see the value they possess.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Remind your children they are of value. Set some expectations, demand that they work hard. Allow them to fail, make sure they know it is okay to come in 2nd, 3rd, and even 15th. But don’t stop raising the bar and pushing them to try harder, reach farther, and be more than society’s norm. They are worth it.

I absolutely believe that when anyone grows to value these three things in the right balances great things happen. God first, others second, and never forgetting that God paid a lot for us and we have value too.

Whether you impact the next generations as a parent, a teacher, through church, or as a service to your community – take time to communicate value. Model it in your life and share it with your time and God given opportunities.