1 John 4:7-10 (NIV) – Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
When I first started dating my now wife, Julie, she didn’t exactly make things easy for me. Maybe she had a plan, maybe she was playing hard to get, maybe she was messing with my mind (okay that’s probably guaranteed, haha), but probably it was just her nature. One of the things I have always loved about her is how she never takes for granted the feelings of her heart. And I wasn’t going to get her to share something that wasn’t true, even if it left me in an awkward moment (not that I’m not used to that!).
Before we ever knew each other we shared a class my freshman year, her sophomore year, at Houghton College. She doesn’t remember me being in the class. Classic. That just lifts your ego! We did share a class my junior year, her senior year, that she does remember. I want to say she remembers me because I was extremely handsome by that point (I’m not ruling this out as the reason), but she probably more strongly remembers me because I stared at her during the class. Not just a little staring, like a lot, an awkward lot, every single class. But there she sat, and she just stared back. Confident. Secure.
I thought she looked perfectly beautiful, so when that semester ended, and I lost my chance to stare at her, I made sure to track her down and ask her out (first words – “So, you’re Julie right?” – I got skills…). One moment of hanging out turned into another and then another. She seemed pretty special. The moment came where I thought this should be real. I wanted her to know that I was committed to her. So I asked her to be my girlfriend, you know, make this official. Good idea, right? This is what girls want, right? Someone forgot to tell Julie that. She told me no, but to ask again in two weeks. There’s that awkward moment. Thankfully she didn’t make me hold on for two weeks. One week later she told me she couldn’t wait that long – ask her now (I told you I was good looking – stop doubting!).
As things progressed I knew this was right. I had dated other girls before, but Julie was different, this was clearly right. And so I thought it only made sense for me to tell her that I loved her. And so I did! Once again – good idea, right? This is what girls want to hear, right? Lock the guy down, get him emotional, did she want it in writing or something? So I do this, tell her I love her, only for her to follow that up with silence. Hey awkward moment, nice of you to come back. Yeah, why don’t you just set up a tent, this could be a while. Three days later. Three days later, she tells me she loves me. This is why I love her. She had to make sure, if she was going to say it, then it was really how she felt. Yeah, marrying her was a good decision.
This is all the more meaningful because love has gotten distorted over the past, I don’t know, 2000 years. We see different definitions of love all over the place. What love truly is has gotten bogged down by pressures of attraction, lust, butterflies, physical appeal, attention, desire, and the list goes on and on. In so many ways the word, love, has lost all meaning and value. What does it even mean any more? If we think we have it, want to say it, want to share it, what really is it?
Love is what life is to be about if we are Christians. This is what we’re supposed to stand for. Jesus tells us the two most important things we can do are to love God and to love others. So what are we to understand love as? Where can we go to get a great look at love?
The answer is found very clearly in 1 John 4 – the greatest example of love comes from the One Who created it, Who perfected it, Who is it. God is love and He is the supreme example of love. He showed us what love truly looks like – unselfish, unconditional, undeserved.
He made a sacrifice. And as this passage says, not because we love Him. He made the sacrifice because He loves us.
In a world confused at what love is – all we have to do is look to God. If we want to know what love is, we look at what God did for us. He is love and He brought love alive in our world; He showed us what it truly could become. Sacrifice, care, trust, giving, and so much more – that is love, clearly shown from God above.
So match this up in your life. Take a few days if you need to, leave someone in an awkward moment. If you feel that there is love in a relationship then that love has to match what we know love to be from God. Love means there are unselfish and undeserved actions of trust and care. Following God’s example – if we think there is love, then there will be clear moments of sacrifice. God’s love shows little of attraction and attention but a clear example of dependability and faith set by continual moments of care and sacrifice. And take that further – if you have confessed love of someone – that means you have a true desire to be trustworthy, to be dependable, to place yourself on the line for them, deserved or not, and to sacrifice daily with all you have. If your intention is to love, then these must be there.
Do you have love in your life? I hope so, just make sure it is real. I know I’m a pretty lucky guy. Three days are clearly worth knowing she loves me and knowing this love is real.
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