hope

Fear

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(The following was part of a sermon delivered towards the end of 2015 at North Collins Wesleyan Church.  It felt a bit more relevant then, but I thought it was still worth sharing.)

Over the past few months I have noticed a growing sickness spilling from the hearts, minds, attitudes, mouths, and even social media pages of Christians.  There is an overwhelming plague against the attitude of joy and gladness that we Christians are supposed to have.  A plague that is attacking our spirits and hampering our impact on the world right now.  That plague is called FEAR.

Fear can be a ridiculous thing.  Recently, YouTube and social media has been blowing up with a new cat discovery.  People are placing cucumbers close to their cats, without the cat’s knowledge.  The results are often incredible.  For some reason, when a cat is faced with the unexpected arrival of the long green cucumber, it often decides to spaz out, in a big way!  (This is for real, look it up on YouTube!)

Why does this happen?  No one really knows.  Maybe because it’s unexpected or outside the norm.  Maybe because the cat mistakes it for a snake.  Maybe because the idea of eating a vegetable is the worst.  (Although my previous cats always got really excited when I gave them an olive.  Really excited, too excited, like – get a room, cat.)  Maybe because the cat just wants to confuse their human owners.  From what we all know about cats, this seems like the most logical answer.

Well, for whatever reason – the fear and the response are simply ridiculous. But then again, that is the nature of fear, it is usually ridiculous.  Especially for Christians.  Especially for anyone who says their faith is placed in God, the Ruler and Creator of our world.  Our God, Who controls the world, Who loves us completely, Who has our future on earth and for eternity taken care of.  Fear seems very out of place in our lives.

So let’s get to the point.  It is clear that our nation and culture is struggling with what to do with the refugee situation, quite possibly Christians most of all.  This is a situation about which I can’t and won’t tell you how to feel.  That’s not going to happen.  To be honest, I struggle with different feelings myself.

I know God wants me to love and care for all the people of this world.  That is the #2 commandment for the world given from Jesus! (Next to love God!)  I also know and feel the pressures of being a parent.  My family is my #1 ministry.  Their protection is important to me.  As Mel Gibson once said in the movie The Patriot – “I’m a parent, I haven’t got the luxury of principles.”  The desire to protect my family is very real in my heart.

I also struggle with understanding if and how my actions (and the guidelines for those actions) as a Christian individual, living for Jesus Christ, should be different from the actions of the United States of America (if we consider this country Christian or not).  Our nation needs to make decisions for the health of a nation, I need to make decisions for a life dedicated to Jesus Christ.

I say that all to clarify that I will understand wherever it is you feel you fall on this matter.  It is not easy and it is not clear.

But I do know this is very clear – we cannot be people of fear.  Fear cannot drive us, fear cannot motivate us, fear cannot be our response.  We, Christians, are not people of fear.

Fear cannot play a part in the lives of Christians, it simply can’t.  We know too much about who rules and controls the world.  Our Faith is built upon something too great for fear to play a part.

As Psalm 100:5 (NIV) says…
For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.

As 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) says…
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

You, my dear Christian friend, know too much to let fear drive your life, your actions, even your posts on Facebook.  Through God, we have power, we have love, and we have the ability to make wise choices because we have been empowered.

Allow your faith to have the place it deserves in your life, behind the steering wheel.  Do not allow fear to kill the opportunities in your life to stand in God’s power and show God’s unending love.  Instead, cast a message to those in your world that you know who rules the world and therefore you will make decisions out of power and love.

Maybe in the past few weeks, because of fear, you’ve said a few things or felt a certain way that was ridiculous.  Know now that fear has no hold on your life.  Take control.  Live, rather, in power and love.

My Hands Are Full

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I gave my son, Seth, three peanut M&M’s this week.   He’s two years old and he is starting to learn how the ‘system’ works.  So he ate one and then kept the other two in his hands.  He waited a few moments and then he came up to me asking for more.  The two M&M’s were still in his hands.  I shot him a look and was like, uhhh dude, what’s that in your hands, there?  At this point his fingers were turning colors from the M&M’s.  They say they melt in your mouth and not in your hand, apparently whoever tested this theory did not use two year olds in their research.   Seth smiled at me and made a very ‘knowing he was caught’ face.  That rascal.

I don’t know what his plans were exactly.  The M&M’s held an obvious value to him (and every person who likes to eat food in this world!) and he knew he wanted more, but he wasn’t willing to just eat those that he had and spoil the moment of chocolate bliss, until he was guaranteed more.  As I became worried about what he was planning to touch with those multi-colored hands of his, I told him to eat what he had and then we’ll talk about more.

That rascal.  I feel like I should have all kinds of thoughts about this, but mostly I have one very unfortunate thought – this is completely something I would have done!  And truthfully, it is something I do and on a larger scale.  In so many ways, I am that rascal.  I have a lot – time, potential, opportunities, resources, and incredible amounts of love and care to give.  Yet, with that said, so often I find myself wondering what difference I could make if God would only give me more.  I so easily forget, here I stand and my hands are full.

I know I am not alone.  It is so easy for us to stand before God, telling Him we will live for Him, do great things for Him, make a huge difference – just give us the chance, the opportunity, the blessing, the resources – and God, we’ll use it for you.  But our hands are already full.

Your hands are full!  Be encouraged!  There is nothing you need to make a difference in your world, the power is in your hands already!  Lift your head up, clear your focus, and look with fresh eyes – God has you where you’re at for a purpose, make the difference!  You don’t need more, you’ve got all you need.  God has you right where He needs you, use what is in your hands – love, care, provide, uplift, share, empower – shine brightly for Jesus Christ!

God has already filled your life with chances, opportunities, and blessings.  Your hands are full.  Have confidence in God, it’s time to step out with what you have.

And one last little note: you’re probably still a little bit like my son, I know I am, I still want those other M&M’s.  Maybe, just maybe, if you prove to God that you can use what you’ve been given, He’ll be excited to give you something more.  But until then, remember…

Your hands are full.

When Life is Best

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(The following post was originally written as an essay for admissions to Wesley Seminary.  The point being to give a quick look into the testimony of my life.   A few changes have been made to make it blog-ready.  I hope you enjoy.)

One of my favorite things about being a father is the complete faith my children place in me.  They know I am their father, they know I love them, and they know how special they are to me.  I have demonstrated this to them through my words, my hugs, and my actions throughout their lives.  So moments come where they trustfully place their safety in my hands.  While my son has reckless desires, even my daughter, who is sometimes shy and all the time cautious, loves to find moments to fling herself off a high surface into my arms.  She knows her hope lies in me and her faith says that I’ll catch her.  And catch her I do.

From an early age, I learned that life was best when my faith and trust were placed in God.  I am the son of a Wesleyan pastor and grew up at the Port Ann Wesleyan Church in central Pennsylvania.  Like most kids growing up in church, I can remember multiple moments of decision in my relationship with Jesus Christ.  They happened as early as age five, were brought about through many experiences including camp meetings and movies about the rapture (there is this scene with a guillotine that still haunts me…), and came to maturity through my final years of youth camp.

While all of these moments hold value to me, the experience that truly cemented my faith and certainty in Jesus Christ came through the life and walk of my mother.  When I was around 10 years old my family was informed that my mother had breast cancer, and that it was severe.  In fact, we were told that she had little time to live – doctors were expecting three months.  As my mother began chemotherapy, with no where else to find help, we all turned to prayer.  I can still clearly remember lying in bed at night begging God to save my mom.  And He did.

To the amazement of the doctors, God saved my mother.  She won her first battle with cancer and then throughout the next 8-9 years she would do the impossible and win again and again, as the cancer would appear in new parts of her body only to be defeated.  I cannot tell you in words what an experience like this can do for the faith of a young Christian.  But I can say that I learned to again and again throw myself towards God’s arms knowing and believing that He would catch me.

My mother’s impact on my life doesn’t stop here.  See, it wasn’t just that she defeated cancer.  Her continual dependance on God, her strive to seek His will and follow Him, and her dedication to spiritual growth and development of character was incredible!  She was, and still is, everything I want to be as a Christian – loving, humble, and so filled with hope.  It wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I found out the depth of her love.  As I often prayed for God to save my mother, she prayed to simply live long enough to see her last child, me, raised and off to college.  It is almost too perfect that when she did go home to heaven it was after twice visiting me at Houghton College and seeing that her prayers were answered.

Matthew 18:3 (NIV) – And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

In Matthew 18, I believe Christ isn’t talking about simply believing like a child, but having the humility of a child.  Saying to God not only do I trust you, God, but my life is Yours, do with it as You will.  May Your will be done with my life.  That has been my goal, to continually throw myself into God’s arms and to allow Him to do with my life as He sees fit.  As is always the case with God, He has taken me to places that I never expected.  It is through God’s hand that I went to Houghton College debt free.  At Houghton and without my understanding, God gave me opportunities to serve that provided leadership and creative ministry experience that I would use in years to come (like dressing in a kilt and leading a team of young men in obnoxious cheers…seriously).

After Houghton, God guided me to the first job I applied to, being the Assistant/Youth Pastor at Pine Grove Wesleyan Church. At no point in my life had I felt a specific call to youth ministry, yet I quickly found that God had given me the gifts and graces to excel.  In one year’s time, feeling like I couldn’t possibly be the best candidate, I was asked to become the District Youth President for the Penn-Jersey District.  What a blessing this opportunity has been!  In 2008, God guided me to Bethany Wesleyan Church. Here at Bethany, I serve as the Pastor of Family Ministries, overseeing ministries from Nursery to Young Adults.  Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, Young Adult Ministry – of all my time at Houghton, I never once took a specific class in any of them.  But God has opened these doors for me to serve in life and as long as that is the case – His will be done.

I am 32 years old and I know that another step of faith is coming.  As has been the story of my life, I want to be prepared for whatever faith step God brings my way.  When that step comes, I don’t want to just be ready to take that step, I want to confidently leap forward into God’s arms and everything He has in store!  I know there will be moments of doubt and uncertainty ahead.  But if I have learned one thing from my life it is this – life is best when my faith and trust are placed in God.

When It Hurts – Finding Purpose in Pain

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In a lot of ways my daughter and son have developed into the stereotypical roles of girl and boy.  Stella, my daughter, loves all things pink and purple (and now light blue thanks to a certain Elsa).  Stella enjoys art, dancing, dressing up, accessorizing, painting her nails, and doing her hair.  She likes to snuggle, and when she gets hurt – it hurts!  And she’ll need quite a bit of time and attention, most often from yours truly, daddy (honestly this is the best – the very best).  Now Seth, my son, is not like this.  He likes to growl.  He enjoys trains, trucks, making a mess, and knocking stuff over.  If he can, he will throw something and probably at you (and he has incredible accuracy – so watch your head).  He handles pain differently.  I’ve seen him fall and come up bleeding, only to keep moving to where he wants to be.  Often he wants a boo-boo (yes, I said boo-boo, calm down) recognized, but then he is ready to move.  For him, whatever is happening is usually more important than the pain.

I am very curious as to why there is a difference.  Does the pain feel the same?  Does Seth have a naturally higher pain threshold?  Does Stella better appreciate the love and attention given?  Is Seth just more motivated to keep moving, at all times?  Is Stella more sensitive to when a situation isn’t perfectly in order?  Probably all those factors play a part and I expect there are many more.  But with all that in mind, I come up with one thought:  pain is what we make of it.

From physical to spiritual to emotional, I have faced some pain in my 32 years of life.  Definitely not more than many, but my share.  From broken bones (one little finger has been broken five times – it’s just a finger) to cuts requiring stitches, I’ve had a few normal pains.  A few years ago, I had a bout with diverticulitis.  That was some pain and the eventual surgery wasn’t fun either (I remember handing my wife the morphine clicker and asking her to keep clicking and clicking…and clicking. I don’t care if it hasn’t been seven minutes, try the button!).  Like everyone, I’ve had moments of spiritual doubts.  Times when I’ve been hurt by others, even those I respected or thought cared for me.  And emotionally, life hasn’t been all roses either, losing my mother was easily the toughest moment of my life.  Just like your life, pain has played a part in mine.

So what do I do with pain?  To some degree it is always going to be a part of my life and, like most things in life, I don’t think it has to be negative, must be controlling, or needs to make my life the worst.  Pain is what I make of it.  So what will that be?

1.  I use pain to move forward, never allowing it to hold me back.

Like Seth, I have realized that pain isn’t something that should hold me back.  In fact, some of the best moments come about because of pain.  My wife, Julie, does not love pain.  For most of our life together, I would say she doesn’t do well with it (see me choosing my words carefully – smart husband).  Having kids was a bit of a fear, there is no way around it, birth is going to be painful.  With our daughter Stella, labor meant 28 1/2 hours of uncomfortableness followed by pain.  A few years later Seth was a different experience, his labor came about so fast that Julie was unable to receive an epidural. Yep, birth with no pain meds.  I have never been so proud of Julie, she was so strong.

The fear of pain can hold us back, but if we’re willing to face it, many of the greatest moments and joys of life are found.  I know the pain means nothing to Julie compared to the joy two kids have brought.  I know she’ll face it again.  In many ways the pain makes the parental journey only more meaningful, it illustrates the depth of value she places in her role and life as mother.  The pain that Jesus Christ suffered for me makes my joy all the more valuable.  I appreciate the purpose and meaning my life has, all because of His pain.

In every important area of our life there is a chance for pain – physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Physical pains come and go (or come and stay).  All relationships of value deliver an opportunity to be hurt.  And a walk with God will bring seasons of pain through doubt and misunderstanding.  But in all of this, life is too important for the pain to hold you back.  Allow it to give your decisions further value and continue to move forward!

2.  I keep pain in perspective, and examine the world with a new look on life (and myself).

There are times when I love the opportunity pain creates.  See, every once in a while we are in the kind of pain that debilitates us – we are physically or emotionally zapped (in those moments scream, get alone, do what you need to do).  But, most of the time, pain does not control us and an opportunity arises.

The first opportunity is how we respond while in pain.  I can remember walking through the hospital with a recently broken finger, opening the door for doctors, nurses, and patients, all the while getting looks of ‘shouldn’t I be helping you?’ – I love that!  Even after surgery I tried to be the politest person possible, because pain kept in perspective never stops me from being who I am and remembering what I believe.  Pain gives us an opportunity to show the world what truly resides in our hearts.

There is another opportunity here as well, the opportunity to measure just what sort of person I’d like to be.  Many times we are hurt in relationships by people who misunderstand us or who want to change us.  Pain delivers us a clear view of how the world works, who these people hurting us are, and who we ourselves are.  With this new outlook on life we can move forward with a new change or with simply a better understanding of the world around us.  Pain so often provides incredible clarity.

3.  I allow pain to draw me closer to others.

There are a lot of ways that we connect with other people.  Things that draw us to each other – passions, interests, hobbies, and more.  Maybe we like the same sports teams (Chelsea FC, NY Jets, Philadelphia Phillies), enjoy the same food (Who doesn’t love General Tsos Chicken?  Don’t tell me if it’s you, or our relationship will never be the same.), or enjoy driving the same car (I miss my old Mazda Protege – for real).  But few things connect to all of us like pain does.

Pain makes us real to each other.  Few things catch people’s attention, their heart, their sympathy like pain does. And it unites us so strongly!  Having experienced fairly major surgery has made other people more real to me and I imagine the reverse is just as true.  Who doesn’t feel over a broken heart – we have all been there.  When we turn to heaven in anger from our grief, we find ourselves in a place so many others have been.

This is why Jesus Christ is so compelling.  To face the physical pain of torture and execution is one thing, but to face the pain of feeling the weight of the world’s sins and the distance of God His Father, this is a pain beyond our understanding.  And when we realize He did this for us, it is almost to much to believe. Yet, my heart cries out for what He did and I cling to Someone who would give so much.  His pain has brought me to His feet.

I will never say that I enjoy pain and I may never come to fully understand why we all respond to it differently.  But it is a part of my life and I’ll make of it what I decide.  Don’t allow pain to control your life.  Harness it, use it, and grow from it.  Become a better you because of it.  Above all remember the part pain played in the salvation of the world.  May your use of pain draw others to a better knowledge of the sacrifice Christ made for them.  For through the pain He shouldered, He opened the door for a day where we will finally be free from it.