Jesus Christ

My Hands Are Full

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I gave my son, Seth, three peanut M&M’s this week.   He’s two years old and he is starting to learn how the ‘system’ works.  So he ate one and then kept the other two in his hands.  He waited a few moments and then he came up to me asking for more.  The two M&M’s were still in his hands.  I shot him a look and was like, uhhh dude, what’s that in your hands, there?  At this point his fingers were turning colors from the M&M’s.  They say they melt in your mouth and not in your hand, apparently whoever tested this theory did not use two year olds in their research.   Seth smiled at me and made a very ‘knowing he was caught’ face.  That rascal.

I don’t know what his plans were exactly.  The M&M’s held an obvious value to him (and every person who likes to eat food in this world!) and he knew he wanted more, but he wasn’t willing to just eat those that he had and spoil the moment of chocolate bliss, until he was guaranteed more.  As I became worried about what he was planning to touch with those multi-colored hands of his, I told him to eat what he had and then we’ll talk about more.

That rascal.  I feel like I should have all kinds of thoughts about this, but mostly I have one very unfortunate thought – this is completely something I would have done!  And truthfully, it is something I do and on a larger scale.  In so many ways, I am that rascal.  I have a lot – time, potential, opportunities, resources, and incredible amounts of love and care to give.  Yet, with that said, so often I find myself wondering what difference I could make if God would only give me more.  I so easily forget, here I stand and my hands are full.

I know I am not alone.  It is so easy for us to stand before God, telling Him we will live for Him, do great things for Him, make a huge difference – just give us the chance, the opportunity, the blessing, the resources – and God, we’ll use it for you.  But our hands are already full.

Your hands are full!  Be encouraged!  There is nothing you need to make a difference in your world, the power is in your hands already!  Lift your head up, clear your focus, and look with fresh eyes – God has you where you’re at for a purpose, make the difference!  You don’t need more, you’ve got all you need.  God has you right where He needs you, use what is in your hands – love, care, provide, uplift, share, empower – shine brightly for Jesus Christ!

God has already filled your life with chances, opportunities, and blessings.  Your hands are full.  Have confidence in God, it’s time to step out with what you have.

And one last little note: you’re probably still a little bit like my son, I know I am, I still want those other M&M’s.  Maybe, just maybe, if you prove to God that you can use what you’ve been given, He’ll be excited to give you something more.  But until then, remember…

Your hands are full.

When It Hurts – Finding Purpose in Pain

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In a lot of ways my daughter and son have developed into the stereotypical roles of girl and boy.  Stella, my daughter, loves all things pink and purple (and now light blue thanks to a certain Elsa).  Stella enjoys art, dancing, dressing up, accessorizing, painting her nails, and doing her hair.  She likes to snuggle, and when she gets hurt – it hurts!  And she’ll need quite a bit of time and attention, most often from yours truly, daddy (honestly this is the best – the very best).  Now Seth, my son, is not like this.  He likes to growl.  He enjoys trains, trucks, making a mess, and knocking stuff over.  If he can, he will throw something and probably at you (and he has incredible accuracy – so watch your head).  He handles pain differently.  I’ve seen him fall and come up bleeding, only to keep moving to where he wants to be.  Often he wants a boo-boo (yes, I said boo-boo, calm down) recognized, but then he is ready to move.  For him, whatever is happening is usually more important than the pain.

I am very curious as to why there is a difference.  Does the pain feel the same?  Does Seth have a naturally higher pain threshold?  Does Stella better appreciate the love and attention given?  Is Seth just more motivated to keep moving, at all times?  Is Stella more sensitive to when a situation isn’t perfectly in order?  Probably all those factors play a part and I expect there are many more.  But with all that in mind, I come up with one thought:  pain is what we make of it.

From physical to spiritual to emotional, I have faced some pain in my 32 years of life.  Definitely not more than many, but my share.  From broken bones (one little finger has been broken five times – it’s just a finger) to cuts requiring stitches, I’ve had a few normal pains.  A few years ago, I had a bout with diverticulitis.  That was some pain and the eventual surgery wasn’t fun either (I remember handing my wife the morphine clicker and asking her to keep clicking and clicking…and clicking. I don’t care if it hasn’t been seven minutes, try the button!).  Like everyone, I’ve had moments of spiritual doubts.  Times when I’ve been hurt by others, even those I respected or thought cared for me.  And emotionally, life hasn’t been all roses either, losing my mother was easily the toughest moment of my life.  Just like your life, pain has played a part in mine.

So what do I do with pain?  To some degree it is always going to be a part of my life and, like most things in life, I don’t think it has to be negative, must be controlling, or needs to make my life the worst.  Pain is what I make of it.  So what will that be?

1.  I use pain to move forward, never allowing it to hold me back.

Like Seth, I have realized that pain isn’t something that should hold me back.  In fact, some of the best moments come about because of pain.  My wife, Julie, does not love pain.  For most of our life together, I would say she doesn’t do well with it (see me choosing my words carefully – smart husband).  Having kids was a bit of a fear, there is no way around it, birth is going to be painful.  With our daughter Stella, labor meant 28 1/2 hours of uncomfortableness followed by pain.  A few years later Seth was a different experience, his labor came about so fast that Julie was unable to receive an epidural. Yep, birth with no pain meds.  I have never been so proud of Julie, she was so strong.

The fear of pain can hold us back, but if we’re willing to face it, many of the greatest moments and joys of life are found.  I know the pain means nothing to Julie compared to the joy two kids have brought.  I know she’ll face it again.  In many ways the pain makes the parental journey only more meaningful, it illustrates the depth of value she places in her role and life as mother.  The pain that Jesus Christ suffered for me makes my joy all the more valuable.  I appreciate the purpose and meaning my life has, all because of His pain.

In every important area of our life there is a chance for pain – physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Physical pains come and go (or come and stay).  All relationships of value deliver an opportunity to be hurt.  And a walk with God will bring seasons of pain through doubt and misunderstanding.  But in all of this, life is too important for the pain to hold you back.  Allow it to give your decisions further value and continue to move forward!

2.  I keep pain in perspective, and examine the world with a new look on life (and myself).

There are times when I love the opportunity pain creates.  See, every once in a while we are in the kind of pain that debilitates us – we are physically or emotionally zapped (in those moments scream, get alone, do what you need to do).  But, most of the time, pain does not control us and an opportunity arises.

The first opportunity is how we respond while in pain.  I can remember walking through the hospital with a recently broken finger, opening the door for doctors, nurses, and patients, all the while getting looks of ‘shouldn’t I be helping you?’ – I love that!  Even after surgery I tried to be the politest person possible, because pain kept in perspective never stops me from being who I am and remembering what I believe.  Pain gives us an opportunity to show the world what truly resides in our hearts.

There is another opportunity here as well, the opportunity to measure just what sort of person I’d like to be.  Many times we are hurt in relationships by people who misunderstand us or who want to change us.  Pain delivers us a clear view of how the world works, who these people hurting us are, and who we ourselves are.  With this new outlook on life we can move forward with a new change or with simply a better understanding of the world around us.  Pain so often provides incredible clarity.

3.  I allow pain to draw me closer to others.

There are a lot of ways that we connect with other people.  Things that draw us to each other – passions, interests, hobbies, and more.  Maybe we like the same sports teams (Chelsea FC, NY Jets, Philadelphia Phillies), enjoy the same food (Who doesn’t love General Tsos Chicken?  Don’t tell me if it’s you, or our relationship will never be the same.), or enjoy driving the same car (I miss my old Mazda Protege – for real).  But few things connect to all of us like pain does.

Pain makes us real to each other.  Few things catch people’s attention, their heart, their sympathy like pain does. And it unites us so strongly!  Having experienced fairly major surgery has made other people more real to me and I imagine the reverse is just as true.  Who doesn’t feel over a broken heart – we have all been there.  When we turn to heaven in anger from our grief, we find ourselves in a place so many others have been.

This is why Jesus Christ is so compelling.  To face the physical pain of torture and execution is one thing, but to face the pain of feeling the weight of the world’s sins and the distance of God His Father, this is a pain beyond our understanding.  And when we realize He did this for us, it is almost to much to believe. Yet, my heart cries out for what He did and I cling to Someone who would give so much.  His pain has brought me to His feet.

I will never say that I enjoy pain and I may never come to fully understand why we all respond to it differently.  But it is a part of my life and I’ll make of it what I decide.  Don’t allow pain to control your life.  Harness it, use it, and grow from it.  Become a better you because of it.  Above all remember the part pain played in the salvation of the world.  May your use of pain draw others to a better knowledge of the sacrifice Christ made for them.  For through the pain He shouldered, He opened the door for a day where we will finally be free from it.

My Pocket Knife

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Two Christmases ago I was met with a serious dilemma.  My family was unwrapping gifts and, as you can imagine, my daughter Stella (then four) was in a rush to enjoy her presents.  It wasn’t enough to just have each gift unwrapped, they had to be unboxed and enjoyed.  Here’s the issue: toy makers have conspired to seal their prizes behind ridiculous amounts of impenetrable plastic.  For real!  How much protection does a Disney Princess doll require exactly?  The answer – too much!  During that day, to keep things rolling and my daughter stabilized, I had to ask my dad on at least three occasions to borrow his pocket knife.

My ego had been hit.  I felt like my ‘man card’ was on the fritz.  This was unacceptable, I had been raised better than that.  I told my wife on that very same Christmas Day, I was getting a pocket knife and it was becoming a part of my life.

The past two years have seen a new me develop.  My pocket knives have come in handy on so many occasions (and yes I said knives – there are knives for all sorts of occasions).  It feels great when someone needs something cut or sliced and they ask if I have a knife and I can reply – “You bet – I’m a man!”  Boom – pocket knife saves the day!

My pocket knife goes with me wherever I go (well, except airports, government buildings, and certain church events).  My pocket knife doesn’t define me, but it’s there when I need it.  It’s the tool for me.

As a Christian, I’ve come to acquire a few tools that are pretty important to me as well.  One tool is so important I take it everywhere I go and employ it at every available opportunity.  It’s my smile.

I know what you’re thinking, I got suckered in with cool talk about knives and here we are talking about smiles – lame.  Don’t peace out.  My smile is the most important tool I’ve got.  It puts others at ease, it sets the tone, it offers forgiveness and hope, it states my intention, it opens a door, it peacefully brings moments to a close, and maybe, just maybe, it offers a glimpse of Jesus Christ.

There are some situations where it’s all I can offer and some where it’s all I can say.  For some people it may be all they see of me and hopefully for some it’s all they’ll remember.  A smile can lift a heart, heal a hurt, and brighten a day.

As Christians we need to smile more.  Our image hasn’t always been so great with the world.  You know this is true and in many cases that’s not going to be something we can change. Sure, I believe Jesus is the one way to salvation and that He’s the only way to the One True God.  And yes, I do disagree with the lifestyles of many people in this world.  But that doesn’t mean I have to be a jerk about it.

My God has asked me to love and to show love at every occasion.  Life is going to throw moments and opportunities for you to have an impact on someone.  When those moments present themselves, I hope you don’t find yourself scrambling for the tools to succeed.  So make sure your tools are ready and take them everywhere you go.  Smile.