Life

New Year’s Thought – 2024

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So here we are again – New Year’s time. At this point, all the fireworks have gone off, the shrimp cocktails eaten, and the differing objects (depending upon your community) dropped. For real, look up on Wikipedia all the items that communities drop for New Year’s. Pennsylvania has the best list. (This is going to be a future sermon illustration.) My favorite may be the stuffed goat, or beaver. No, it is probably the bag of potato chips. 

I don’t have a lot of traditions around the New Year. Our family celebrates New Year’s lightly. Usually there is a good meal involved. Sure, I am Pennsylvania Dutch, but I have no plans to “enjoy” sauerkraut at any point of the year. That tradition did not get passed along to me. This year we had a beef roast. It was browned and then roasted with bacon, onions, carrots, and other deliciousness. On the side – cheesy grits. This may not sound like a combo, but it is good stuff. This meal would destroy any meal you can put together with rotten cabbage or whatever grey plant you decide to smell your house with to meet tradition. 

What does the New Year’s season usually mean to me? The easy thing to say is that it is a time to make changes, adjustments, course corrections, and more. This is true and it is not just about if I ate too much over the holidays. (The answer to that is yes.) I will adjust that and while I am at it, I probably need to recalculate how much time I spend on electronics. This is something that I do and I would encourage everyone to consider. With that said, these course corrections often seem to be minor. And if they are not minor, they often seemed forced to a place where they don’t really happen. 

There is a greater opportunity that often happens in my life at New Year’s. I feel it stirring this year. It isn’t a change as much as it is a motivation. At this time of year, I regularly ask myself what is important in my life. And then I aim, drive, shoot, strive for those things. 

This practice usually doesn’t bring about an initial change in my life. It is more about knowing this is who I am, this is who I want to be, this is what’s important, and this is what I want to see happen this year. 

2023 brought a lot of very meaningful change to my life. It was a great year and some big things changed. None of them happened, started, or were even really thought of at New Year’s. But, the intention was there. The intention that these were important priorities of my life.

  • In 2023, I changed up the way I connected with God through Scripture and devotions. 
  • I focused my priorities as a husband and father, seeking to add more time and better effort. 
  • Eating habits and other diet changes were made that resulted in a 30+ pound weight loss.
  • Opportunities aligned for me to return to education and begin a Masters of Divinity degree.

All of these are fairly huge to my life. They could probably be considered semi-life changing. None of them happened from New Year’s decisions. All of them are the result of keeping what is important in life in front of me.

So what am I saying with this thought? We have probably all seen or heard the stats about how most New Year’s resolutions fail within a month. I don’t know if New Year’s is actually the best time for us to be making changes. Sure, most of us ate too much at Christmas, that doesn’t mean we need to dramatically change how we live our lives. 

Make a change or two if you want to, but I would encourage you to do something more valuable. Ask yourself who you are. Ask yourself who you want to be. Ask yourself what matters in this world to you. Discover what your priorities are in life. And then, make 2024 about striving for those things. Make 2024 about living with purpose and direction. Don’t let life drift, live intentionally.

Maybe we do need to make a change or so now. Probably, we just need to be ready, focused, and committed for when opportunity or crisis or clarity arrives. 

Happy New Year’s everyone! 

What We Need

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It happens almost every day around 7:00pm, just like clockwork!  Something changes in our children, and we have to be ready for it.  It is almost like a switch is flipped and they become incredibly needy.  Not needy in a real way.  Needy in a whiney way.  Not needy in an “I have a serious problem” way.  Needy in an “I am just a supreme turd ferguson” way.  There are things that they feel they need to be happy in that moment – a snack, a certain toy, a specific show on TV to watch, a book read to them, and the list goes on and on…

Here is the thing, if you fill that need you have bought yourself a total of five minutes, tops, and then another need arises, and another, and another.  As a parent you can weather the storm, from need to need, or you can realize that there is an actual need and you can fix the situation if you meet that real need.   The need called BEDTIME!

Now this is not the need they want answered.  And most likely, if you suggest that this is the need you’re planning to take care of, expect a fit.  Probably the real kind of fit marked by loss of body control, cries resembling that of a furious squirrel, and potentially comments of the dramatic type (“I’ll never be happy again!”).  This is only further proof that the true need is bedtime.

So as a parent what do you do?  You answer the need that you know is the root of all the problems.  You answer the real need, the one that has brought the unsettledness, discontent, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and disagreeableness.  You know it’s not what they want necessarily, but you know it’s what they need.  So bedtime it is.

In Acts 3 of the New Testament, we see a quick but interesting moment with Peter and John.  On the way to the temple, they walk by a man who has been lame from birth, begging for money, and they decide to help.  This man had expectations on what Peter and John were going to give him.  Expectations on what he knew would be useful for his life – silver or gold.  Peter knew that he didn’t have that to give, but he didn’t allow it to stop him from giving the man what Peter knew he really needed, healing through Jesus Christ.

One of the issues facing Christians right now is the belief that the world doesn’t need Jesus.  While there is often a realization that there is a need in people’s lives, we have become so good at trying to fill that need with one thing or another – money, security, human relationships, pride, attention, prosperity – the list goes on and on.  These are the needs our culture desires filling, when in the end they are just symptoms of the real and true need we can never lose sight of – people need Jesus Christ.

Don’t ever doubt that people still need Jesus.  Maybe all the more because we’re in America.  All this ‘stuff’ we have just complicates matters.  There is still an awful lot of hurt and pain, broken relationships and marriages, misunderstandings and unhappiness, a strong lack of hope and belief in the future, dependence on drugs, money, things, and unhealthy relationships.  Our world right here, right now, needs Jesus, and every individual does.

You have people in your life right now.  They have needs.  Help them with those needs – provide love and care, money and time, friendship and encouragement.  But remember that there will be another need and another and another – until they connect with Jesus Christ.  Give them Jesus.

What is Love

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1 John 4:7-10 (NIV) – Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

When I first started dating my now wife, Julie, she didn’t exactly make things easy for me.  Maybe she had a plan, maybe she was playing hard to get, maybe she was messing with my mind (okay that’s probably guaranteed, haha), but probably it was just her nature.  One of the things I have always loved about her is how she never takes for granted the feelings of her heart.  And I wasn’t going to get her to share something that wasn’t true, even if it left me in an awkward moment (not that I’m not used to that!).

Before we ever knew each other we shared a class my freshman year, her sophomore year, at Houghton College.  She doesn’t remember me being in the class.  Classic.  That just lifts your ego!  We did share a class my junior year, her senior year, that she does remember.  I want to say she remembers me because I was extremely handsome by that point (I’m not ruling this out as the reason), but she probably more strongly remembers me because I stared at her during the class.  Not just a little staring, like a lot, an awkward lot, every single class.  But there she sat, and she just stared back.  Confident.  Secure.

I thought she looked perfectly beautiful, so when that semester ended, and I lost my chance to stare at her, I made sure to track her down and ask her out (first words – “So, you’re Julie right?” – I got skills…).  One moment of hanging out turned into another and then another.  She seemed pretty special.  The moment came where I thought this should be real.  I wanted her to know that I was committed to her.  So I asked her to be my girlfriend, you know, make this official.  Good idea, right?  This is what girls want, right?  Someone forgot to tell Julie that.  She told me no, but to ask again in two weeks.  There’s that awkward moment.  Thankfully she didn’t make me hold on for two weeks.  One week later she told me she couldn’t wait that long – ask her now (I told you I was good looking – stop doubting!).

As things progressed I knew this was right.  I had dated other girls before, but Julie was different, this was clearly right. And so I thought it only made sense for me to tell her that I loved her.  And so I did!  Once again – good idea, right?  This is what girls want to hear, right?  Lock the guy down, get him emotional, did she want it in writing or something? So I do this, tell her I love her, only for her to follow that up with silence.  Hey awkward moment, nice of you to come back.  Yeah, why don’t you just set up a tent, this could be a while.  Three days later.  Three days later, she tells me she loves me.  This is why I love her.  She had to make sure, if she was going to say it, then it was really how she felt.  Yeah, marrying her was a good decision.

This is all the more meaningful because love has gotten distorted over the past, I don’t know, 2000 years.  We see different definitions of love all over the place.   What love truly is has gotten bogged down by pressures of attraction, lust, butterflies, physical appeal, attention, desire, and the list goes on and on.  In so many ways the word, love, has lost all meaning and value.  What does it even mean any more?  If we think we have it, want to say it, want to share it, what really is it?

Love is what life is to be about if we are Christians.  This is what we’re supposed to stand for.  Jesus tells us the two most important things we can do are to love God and to love others.  So what are we to understand love as?  Where can we go to get a great look at love?

The answer is found very clearly in 1 John 4 – the greatest example of love comes from the One Who created it, Who perfected it, Who is it.  God is love and He is the supreme example of love.  He showed us what love truly looks like – unselfish, unconditional, undeserved.

He made a sacrifice. And as this passage says, not because we love Him.  He made the sacrifice because He loves us.

In a world confused at what love is – all we have to do is look to God.  If we want to know what love is, we look at what God did for us.  He is love and He brought love alive in our world; He showed us what it truly could become.  Sacrifice, care, trust, giving, and so much more – that is love, clearly shown from God above.

So match this up in your life.  Take a few days if you need to, leave someone in an awkward moment.  If you feel that there is love in a relationship then that love has to match what we know love to be from God.  Love means there are unselfish and undeserved actions of trust and care.  Following God’s example – if we think there is love, then there will be clear moments of sacrifice.  God’s love shows little of attraction and attention but a clear example of dependability and faith set by continual moments of care and sacrifice.  And take that further – if you have confessed love of someone – that means you have a true desire to be trustworthy, to be dependable, to place yourself on the line for them, deserved or not, and to sacrifice daily with all you have.  If your intention is to love, then these must be there.

Do you have love in your life?  I hope so, just make sure it is real.  I know I’m a pretty lucky guy.  Three days are clearly worth knowing she loves me and knowing this love is real.

When Life is Best

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(The following post was originally written as an essay for admissions to Wesley Seminary.  The point being to give a quick look into the testimony of my life.   A few changes have been made to make it blog-ready.  I hope you enjoy.)

One of my favorite things about being a father is the complete faith my children place in me.  They know I am their father, they know I love them, and they know how special they are to me.  I have demonstrated this to them through my words, my hugs, and my actions throughout their lives.  So moments come where they trustfully place their safety in my hands.  While my son has reckless desires, even my daughter, who is sometimes shy and all the time cautious, loves to find moments to fling herself off a high surface into my arms.  She knows her hope lies in me and her faith says that I’ll catch her.  And catch her I do.

From an early age, I learned that life was best when my faith and trust were placed in God.  I am the son of a Wesleyan pastor and grew up at the Port Ann Wesleyan Church in central Pennsylvania.  Like most kids growing up in church, I can remember multiple moments of decision in my relationship with Jesus Christ.  They happened as early as age five, were brought about through many experiences including camp meetings and movies about the rapture (there is this scene with a guillotine that still haunts me…), and came to maturity through my final years of youth camp.

While all of these moments hold value to me, the experience that truly cemented my faith and certainty in Jesus Christ came through the life and walk of my mother.  When I was around 10 years old my family was informed that my mother had breast cancer, and that it was severe.  In fact, we were told that she had little time to live – doctors were expecting three months.  As my mother began chemotherapy, with no where else to find help, we all turned to prayer.  I can still clearly remember lying in bed at night begging God to save my mom.  And He did.

To the amazement of the doctors, God saved my mother.  She won her first battle with cancer and then throughout the next 8-9 years she would do the impossible and win again and again, as the cancer would appear in new parts of her body only to be defeated.  I cannot tell you in words what an experience like this can do for the faith of a young Christian.  But I can say that I learned to again and again throw myself towards God’s arms knowing and believing that He would catch me.

My mother’s impact on my life doesn’t stop here.  See, it wasn’t just that she defeated cancer.  Her continual dependance on God, her strive to seek His will and follow Him, and her dedication to spiritual growth and development of character was incredible!  She was, and still is, everything I want to be as a Christian – loving, humble, and so filled with hope.  It wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I found out the depth of her love.  As I often prayed for God to save my mother, she prayed to simply live long enough to see her last child, me, raised and off to college.  It is almost too perfect that when she did go home to heaven it was after twice visiting me at Houghton College and seeing that her prayers were answered.

Matthew 18:3 (NIV) – And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

In Matthew 18, I believe Christ isn’t talking about simply believing like a child, but having the humility of a child.  Saying to God not only do I trust you, God, but my life is Yours, do with it as You will.  May Your will be done with my life.  That has been my goal, to continually throw myself into God’s arms and to allow Him to do with my life as He sees fit.  As is always the case with God, He has taken me to places that I never expected.  It is through God’s hand that I went to Houghton College debt free.  At Houghton and without my understanding, God gave me opportunities to serve that provided leadership and creative ministry experience that I would use in years to come (like dressing in a kilt and leading a team of young men in obnoxious cheers…seriously).

After Houghton, God guided me to the first job I applied to, being the Assistant/Youth Pastor at Pine Grove Wesleyan Church. At no point in my life had I felt a specific call to youth ministry, yet I quickly found that God had given me the gifts and graces to excel.  In one year’s time, feeling like I couldn’t possibly be the best candidate, I was asked to become the District Youth President for the Penn-Jersey District.  What a blessing this opportunity has been!  In 2008, God guided me to Bethany Wesleyan Church. Here at Bethany, I serve as the Pastor of Family Ministries, overseeing ministries from Nursery to Young Adults.  Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, Young Adult Ministry – of all my time at Houghton, I never once took a specific class in any of them.  But God has opened these doors for me to serve in life and as long as that is the case – His will be done.

I am 32 years old and I know that another step of faith is coming.  As has been the story of my life, I want to be prepared for whatever faith step God brings my way.  When that step comes, I don’t want to just be ready to take that step, I want to confidently leap forward into God’s arms and everything He has in store!  I know there will be moments of doubt and uncertainty ahead.  But if I have learned one thing from my life it is this – life is best when my faith and trust are placed in God.