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Summer Pt.2 – Youth Camp

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Another summer comes to an end for me.  Now maybe summer isn’t officially over, but for me it is.  For most of my life summer has meant three things – Youth Camp, Family Camp, and Vacation Bible School.  Three things that have brought so much to my life.  Three ministries that many would say their ‘time’ or ‘value’ is fading.  As I finish another ‘summer’, I amazed at the impact and life-change these events have brought and I want to share a few thoughts as to the value I see.

Throughout my life, especially my teenage years, there have been different versions of me.  Let me explain.  There was School Justin, Jr. High Soccer Justin, Family Justin, Church Justin, Cross-Country Justin, and the list could go on and on.  Different versions of me for the different places, people, and cultures in my life (and man was it awkward when some of those cultures collided – I know you’ve been there!).  Of all the “Justins” out there though, my favorite to be was always Youth Camp Justin.

What makes Youth Camp Justin so special?  Youth Camp Justin was the best!  He was free from all the restraints and pressures of the society around him to fit in and meet a social norm.  He was a Justin who didn’t have to work at looking out for himself because he was in a place where he was accepted and loved.  He was a Justin proud of the God and Savior he followed and to whom he devoted his life.  He was unashamed of serving Jesus and excited to stand as an example for Him.  Youth Camp Justin was on fire, courageous, hopeful, and light-hearted.  He  could light up others’ lives so easily with his steadiness and patient smile.  Ready to say to the world, “You be you, I’m going to be like Jesus.”

Few places in life so easily allowed me to be that person.  There were glimpses of that person at home and church, but the nature and culture of youth camp so easily brought it alive.  Every year of youth camp it became my dream to be that person all the time, for there not to be different versions of Justin but for me to become completely and utterly the Justin I liked so much.

As much as I wanted it to, it didn’t happen immediately.  Pressures are tough, wanting to fit in is real, confidence isn’t just bought, friends aren’t always helpful.  But that person I was at youth camp started to make a difference.  It was that version of me that made a pledge of purity and stuck with it.  It was that version that kept me away from drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.  It was that version that found life in spreading hope and seeing God’s light open others’ hearts.  And year after year, youth camp after youth camp, that Justin slowly took over, slowly came to dominate every part, every aspect, every avenue of me.  Today, I like to believe that every part of my life is that Youth Camp Justin.

I believe so strongly in youth camp.  Sometimes I am pretty sure I slightly offend people when I try to promote this event to them.  I probably come off a bit strong, a bit dramatic (that does sort of fit with youth ministry though – am I right or am I right?).  I simply want so badly for every teenager to see the youth camp version of himself or herself.  To have a chance to dream about what life would be like if they became that person.

Parents and leaders of teenagers – I could try to sell you on the opportunity to see great speakers, to participate in dynamic worship, to experience great events and building moments, or even plug the greatness of 5 teenager-free days!  Instead, I’ll simply ask this – Have your teenagers had a chance to see the best version of themselves?  To dream about the person in Christ they could become?

Teenagers – Life doesn’t have to be about fitting in.  You don’t have to settle for society’s desire for who you are and how you’ll live your life.  Find the best version of you, the you YOU love to be, and bring that version to life everyday.

As a pastor I hear so many stories about youth camp.  Stories of husbands and wives meeting at camp or dramatic moments of teenagers accepting Jesus Christ for the very first time!  These are the best.  I didn’t find my wife at camp and I had already accepted Christ into my heart at least 7 times before I was considered a teenager.  But youth camp is where I met the best version of myself and for that I’ll be forever grateful.

Value (3 Powerful Things to Communicate to Your Children)

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I find it funny to realize that for a chunk of my life the most valuable thing my wife and I owned was her wedding ring. Early in our marriage it was easily worth more than both our cars combined (although my Mazda Protege was really something special in a “how are you shaking so much but still running” sort of way). Like everyone else, I have things that I feel hold value (just look at my shoe collection), but I never understood being responsible for something of true value until I had kids.

I take parenthood very seriously. I am responsible for health, growth, laughter, and learning. There are so many integral parts to being a parent and they’re all important – but the development that I take most seriously is that of character. I desire for my children to not just be Christians, but to live a life that exudes the character of Jesus Christ. I want them to be shining lights for God through action, attitude, and word.

Making that happen is a lot easier said then done. Somehow my parents did it with five kids. I don’t totally know how they did it, but I know a few keys that I have tried to emulate. One of those keys is the communication of values. There are three specific things that they valued that I believed was passed to each of us five. Three values that if I can pass on to my kids I know I’ll have taken a huge step in the right direction.

1.  To value God.

Did you ever have to leave soccer practice early to go to church?  Oh man, I did – every, single, fantastic, friends watching, Wednesday.  Could it have hurt to miss a few Wednesday night church activities?  Probably not.  Did I learn anything incredibly fantastic on those nights?  Nothing life changing (although I did win the all prestigious CYC John Wesley Award – which currently resides in my office…with a mustache sticker on it).  Would I be any different today if I had missed those nights and been able to stay at soccer practice?  I doubt it.

Yet every Wednesday night I had to stand up in front of my friends, the ‘cool’ kids, my coaches, and others and leave practice to go to church.  I probably didn’t learn anything huge or have a life changing moment on any of those nights, but I learned one super valuable lesson – God comes first.  I feel like we make so many excuses to put God in the back seat.  There is no excuse not to pray, no reason not to invest time into God’s word, and no schedule full enough to stop you from steadily worshiping God with others.  God comes first.

How have you taught your children that God comes first?  How have they seen you put God before other things?  Following God isn’t an “if or when” – it is very clearly a “before all else.”  If I can get my children to grasp this, think about the base their life already has.  Boom!  I mean seriously – boom!

2.  To value others.

Growing up I can remember multiple quiet family nights that were ruined by the ring of the doorbell.  It could have been a lot of things – the couple down the street having marriage problems, a person from the community in need of physical or financial help, or maybe just someone who decided to “visit.”  For my parents it meant that even though they had already had a busy day – their evening was gone.  Don’t misunderstand, they made lots of time for family and when needed they set boundaries with people, but so often when others needed help they were there.

As a kid on the inside I saw the “bother” this created (I know, I know – ‘bother’ what am I, British?).  These nights were a hassle, a pain, an interruption.  But this is the kind of thing you do when you care about people.  I can remember my mom in the midst of a battle with breast cancer taking time for others expecting nothing in return.  People have value.

To me this is what being like Jesus is.  This is what it means to be a ‘Christian.’  To love others doesn’t mean we give up what we believe, nor does it mean we have to ‘be fine’ with everything someone else wants to be.  It means we think they’re important enough to give them our time, our care, our attention, and our love.  If my children weakly value others they’ll be fine allowing people to walk life where they are. If they truly value others they’ll have a burning desire to bring people to Jesus Christ.

Have your children seen you put others first?  Have they seen you make selfish decisions or sacrificial decisions?  Are you someone they and others can bother or do they know not to take your time and space?  Again, think about a child who grows to value God and then others.  That might just be scriptural (wink – Matthew 22:36-40).  That might just be super powerful.

3.  To value themselves.

In the Leininger household we rarely went halfway with something. If you were involved with something it was expected that you gave it your all and succeeded. In school there were really just two grades: the expected ‘A’ and the sometimes with a good excuse “B”. I don’t remember getting anything else and I am not sure what would have happened if I did. Sports brought the same expectations. I can remember after one soccer game my father telling me to not worry about the coach and about passing but to just get the ball and go. Don’t get me started on his lamentations about me dropping baseball to play soccer. He knew I was good at baseball (I was pretty much shut down at second base and I did score the winning run in my 6th grade championship game) and success was the goal.

I didn’t always enjoy some of those pressures at the time, but looking back I am thankful for them now. I was taught to expect to succeed and to work, to be aggressive, and to strive to make that reality. And this wasn’t just with grades this was with everything, this was with life. I am valuable.

My heart, my mind, my purity, my knowledge, my potential, my future, my love, my work – it all has value. Our children are so valuable. Our culture teaches them to give it all away to join the crowd. Be different – help them see the value they possess.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Remind your children they are of value. Set some expectations, demand that they work hard. Allow them to fail, make sure they know it is okay to come in 2nd, 3rd, and even 15th. But don’t stop raising the bar and pushing them to try harder, reach farther, and be more than society’s norm. They are worth it.

I absolutely believe that when anyone grows to value these three things in the right balances great things happen. God first, others second, and never forgetting that God paid a lot for us and we have value too.

Whether you impact the next generations as a parent, a teacher, through church, or as a service to your community – take time to communicate value. Model it in your life and share it with your time and God given opportunities.

The Family Room (and 3 Questions Parents Should Ask Themselves)

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There are quite a few reasons why a small house isn’t great (Reason #9 – When you cook bacon, everything smells like bacon.  You think that’s a good thing, but it’s not.).  With that said, there is one great reason why I love our small house.   All our activity happens basically in one place.  We snack, watch TV, read, work, do crafts, play video games, surf the internet, play on our iPads, and so much more within an arm’s reach of each other.  As our family grows bigger I know we are going to upgrade.  But however large our house is, our plan is to make sure to create a ‘Family Room’ or space, so that this closeness never disappears.

A ‘Family Room’ is not just that room you allow your kids to trash (that’s just called I don’t want to have to pick up after my kids or train them to pick up after themselves).  Having a true ‘Family Room’ means creating a place where your family co-exists together.  It doesn’t mean having to do the same things together (although it could sometimes), it means doing the separate things you love together – in the same space and time.  This sounds simple, almost not worth mentioning, but it can do wonders for any family!

Do you need a family space?  Let’s pose three questions to help find your answer.

1.  Have you had the opportunity to speak with your children about the things most important to you and them?  Do you know where their spiritual life is at?  Have you connected about their future?  Do you know their dreams and desires?  You probably don’t need to explain the ‘birds and the bees’, but have you communicated about your hopes and expectations for them as they enter into relationships?

Communication.  Relationships are built on communication (and good food – you want to make a relationship better, get some Chinese food).  In today’s culture, family schedules are more hectic than ever.  It is amazing to me the busy life that even our 4 year old has.  All parents should be intentional about talking to their children about the important things in life.  If you are not influencing their thoughts in these areas – who is?  Parents – give yourself opportunities to have these conversations, you should be the biggest influence in their lives right now.  All children need time to process things, to understand the ‘whys’, and to hear things from their parents’ hearts.  Create a safe place with safe moments where communication can flow.

2.  What are you allowing into your house unmonitored?  Who are you allowing your children to invite into their bedrooms and other private places in your house through the use of social media and technology?  What are you children watching on TV?  What are they seeing and sharing on their iPhone, iPod, iPad, computer, Xbox, etc.?  Are you monitoring your children’s use of apps?  Have you even heard of Instagram, SnapChat, Kik, Yik Yak, Whisper, and Down to name a few?  And do you know if your children are using these?

Accountability.  Everyone, not just children, need to be held accountable for their social media and technology use.  The danger is three-fold:  What are you seeing?  What are you sharing?  Who is getting private information about your family?  What would happen if the use of all these things took place while your family is together, close together?  The use of these devices are so much safer when parents are around.  And let’s be honest, this is great for us adults as well because our filter is in place when little ears and eyes are around.  We can’t hide ourselves from the use of social media, electronic devices, and entertainment.  But we can learn how to use them properly together.  Create rules and standards for your family’s use of these things.  Protect your family, make temptation difficult.

3.  Do you ever feel distant from your family?  Does your home feel like home or is it just a place to rest and fuel?  Is your house a safe place that your family can retreat to?  Do your children ever have moments where they’d just prefer to be at home?  Does it feel like your family is working together or drifting apart?

Harmony.  Harmony doesn’t mean doing the same thing, it means doing different things and allowing them to blend together in a wonderful way.  I know this sounds touchy-feely and nobody wants that (but you can handle it).  I love when my family is all together.  I am the youngest of five children and usually twice a year all of us get together.  It is the best.  Even in the moments when we’re not doing anything officially together, just being together feels so much like home.  With my own wife and kids there is nothing better than a lazy Saturday morning, when we’re just together.  Life feels right.  Make sure your home is not a glorified hotel room, but a place your family grows together.

Sure, a small house isn’t always great (Reason #21 – You can’t sneak a piece of chocolate without being discovered.).  Some of us spend tons of money so that we have a place we can actually spread out in.  But how is spreading out actually helping you?  Keep your big, medium, or small house – just make sure your family has a place to come together and connect.  Create a safe place to explore what the world has to offer and make sure that needed conversations happen in a place where everyone can open up their hearts.  It will take time, effort, and possibly some inconvenience, but your family is worth it.