Purpose

New Year’s Thought – 2024

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So here we are again – New Year’s time. At this point, all the fireworks have gone off, the shrimp cocktails eaten, and the differing objects (depending upon your community) dropped. For real, look up on Wikipedia all the items that communities drop for New Year’s. Pennsylvania has the best list. (This is going to be a future sermon illustration.) My favorite may be the stuffed goat, or beaver. No, it is probably the bag of potato chips. 

I don’t have a lot of traditions around the New Year. Our family celebrates New Year’s lightly. Usually there is a good meal involved. Sure, I am Pennsylvania Dutch, but I have no plans to “enjoy” sauerkraut at any point of the year. That tradition did not get passed along to me. This year we had a beef roast. It was browned and then roasted with bacon, onions, carrots, and other deliciousness. On the side – cheesy grits. This may not sound like a combo, but it is good stuff. This meal would destroy any meal you can put together with rotten cabbage or whatever grey plant you decide to smell your house with to meet tradition. 

What does the New Year’s season usually mean to me? The easy thing to say is that it is a time to make changes, adjustments, course corrections, and more. This is true and it is not just about if I ate too much over the holidays. (The answer to that is yes.) I will adjust that and while I am at it, I probably need to recalculate how much time I spend on electronics. This is something that I do and I would encourage everyone to consider. With that said, these course corrections often seem to be minor. And if they are not minor, they often seemed forced to a place where they don’t really happen. 

There is a greater opportunity that often happens in my life at New Year’s. I feel it stirring this year. It isn’t a change as much as it is a motivation. At this time of year, I regularly ask myself what is important in my life. And then I aim, drive, shoot, strive for those things. 

This practice usually doesn’t bring about an initial change in my life. It is more about knowing this is who I am, this is who I want to be, this is what’s important, and this is what I want to see happen this year. 

2023 brought a lot of very meaningful change to my life. It was a great year and some big things changed. None of them happened, started, or were even really thought of at New Year’s. But, the intention was there. The intention that these were important priorities of my life.

  • In 2023, I changed up the way I connected with God through Scripture and devotions. 
  • I focused my priorities as a husband and father, seeking to add more time and better effort. 
  • Eating habits and other diet changes were made that resulted in a 30+ pound weight loss.
  • Opportunities aligned for me to return to education and begin a Masters of Divinity degree.

All of these are fairly huge to my life. They could probably be considered semi-life changing. None of them happened from New Year’s decisions. All of them are the result of keeping what is important in life in front of me.

So what am I saying with this thought? We have probably all seen or heard the stats about how most New Year’s resolutions fail within a month. I don’t know if New Year’s is actually the best time for us to be making changes. Sure, most of us ate too much at Christmas, that doesn’t mean we need to dramatically change how we live our lives. 

Make a change or two if you want to, but I would encourage you to do something more valuable. Ask yourself who you are. Ask yourself who you want to be. Ask yourself what matters in this world to you. Discover what your priorities are in life. And then, make 2024 about striving for those things. Make 2024 about living with purpose and direction. Don’t let life drift, live intentionally.

Maybe we do need to make a change or so now. Probably, we just need to be ready, focused, and committed for when opportunity or crisis or clarity arrives. 

Happy New Year’s everyone! 

Thanksgiving Key

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(The following post was written as the final of 3 5-minute messages delivered at the 2014 Bethany Wesleyan Thanksgiving Service.  To those at that service, if this sounds a little different, these are my notes slightly modified for blog form.)

 

Psalm 100:4-5 (NIV)
Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise, give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and His love endures forever, His faithfulness continues through all generations.

Being thankful.  Thankfulness.  Gratefulness.  Thanks.  Praise.  This is one of those safe church topics, right?  We love talking about things we’re thankful for, right?  We’re thankful for turkey, stuffing, the roof over our head, the car we drive, the shoes on our feet, the Philadelphia Eagles, and if you’re an Eagles fan, even Mark Sanchez (although as a New York Jets fan myself – might I say this may not be the best place to put your thanks…just saying).

We like thanksgiving and as Christians we are so comfortable with this topic.  Thankfulness is something we all know we should have, we don’t mind talking about, we love to express, but if it’s not over prioritized it’s not a big deal.  No one’s life is destroyed by a lack of thanks, right?  And we do usually feel thankful in the important things…

  • I’m thankful for my wife and of course kids (well except when they’re loud, tired, or smell bad).
  • I’m thankful for my work here at BWC.  Thankful for the opportunity to minister with kids and teenagers (well, again…except when they’re loud, tired, and, yeah, when they smell bad).
  • I’m even extremely thankful for my awesome co-workers.  Bethany is an incredible place to work and we have a great time everyday.  I am so thankful for those I work with (of course, maybe not so much when they’re uh…loud, and possibly when they’re tired, and uhhh…yeah, you know the rest).

Sometimes we love this holiday because we are thankful.  Sometimes we love it because of the turkey, the break, the laughs, the football.  No reason is necessarily bad.  I guess it’s just that sometimes you feel thankful and sometimes you don’t.  You can’t really force being thankful – it either is there or it isn’t.  We have seasons and that is the natural course of the world, right?  That’s okay, isn’t it?  There are times where thanks makes sense and times where – not so much.

Except that doesn’t appear to be how God works…
For the Lord is good and His love endures forever. His faithfulness continues through all generations. (Psalm 100:5)
No season, no moments, all the time, forever. 

And here’s the deal, we’re encouraged to be the same.  WHAT!?  Keep our thankfulness all the time?  For real?  FOR REAL!
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise, give thanks to him and praise his name.  (Psalm 100:4)

I wonder…
What if thanksgiving isn’t the way we’re going to enter God’s kingdom?
What if Thanksgiving is the key to entering God’s kingdom?

This scripture doesn’t say this is what we’re going to do.  It more directly says this is how you do it.  You enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.  This is the key.

  • Thankfulness is our accountability partner who keeps us in check as we approach heaven.
  • Thankfulness keeps life in perspective. It reminds us about all we’ve been given. It focuses the lens of life and brings in to focus all that is important.
  • Through thankfulness we can look back, recognize today, and peer ahead – knowing that God is faithful and He endures.

This past Sunday night was fantastic.  I had just finished a full weekend of stuff here at BWC.  A weekend of meaning – Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!  Sunday afternoon was spent as all Wesleyans should spend them – with a fantastic nap.  And now with my wife and kids settled in with some popcorn it was time for a Muppet’s Christmas Carol.

As we snuggled together, wife and kids surrounding me, all pressures of career, finances, housing, life – fell and faded away.  This is what I have – this is what matters.  The things of the past that were important.  The things now that really matter.  The things ahead that will make a difference.  My purpose, my belonging, my reason for being come into perspective.  My mission to entering God’s mighty gates and His wonderful courts became clear.  I had my moment of thanksgiving.

The rest of this holiday is just gravy.  Thanksgiving has come.

Allow yourself a moment of thanksgiving.  If it is alone or with friends, around a dinning table or while shopping, in the midst of activity or in a moment of peace.  Allow yourself a moment of thanksgiving to give your life perspective, focus, and purpose.  To keep you on track to entering God’s mighty gates and finding His glorious courts.

Ten Years Later…

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My wife and I have never felt like we are each others ‘soul-mates’.   True story!   We’re officially 10 years in and as happy as you can possibly imagine.  Actually, probably happier than you can imagine, and very secure in our relationship.  We have our moments, our ups and downs.  Like all husbands I can have my idiot times (and like all wives, she is completely perfect at all moments – at least that is what I am allowed to say).  We’ve had some incredible victories:  a fun “how we met tale”, surviving a stretch of long-distance, a special proposal and a nice sized rock, a beautiful wedding to remember, saving our purity for the wedding night, making two different houses home, creating the two cutest kids in the world, building each others’ careers and potential, all the while finding time to snuggle almost every day (I know, barf – but it’s true and she’ll appreciate this).  With all this said, with this just being the tip of the iceberg in terms of the trust, devotion, love, and care we’ve experienced, yeah, we still won’t say we’re ‘soul-mates’.

Could we be a bit ridiculous in this?  Wikipedia says a ‘soul-mate’ is someone with whom you have a feeling of deep or natural affinity.  That doesn’t sound like a big deal – if that is all it takes then maybe Jimmy Fallon and I are soul-mates (and the person who created General Tso’s Chicken and the inventors of Mountain Dew).  I believe we usually think of soul-mates as something more.  They’re supposed to be that one person that so wonderfully matches with who we are and what we want to be that they just bring about perfection.  It drives us to start throwing up phrases like “You complete me!” and “I’m nothing without you!” or even “You make me happy!” – blah!  And this is where we have a problem with soul-mates.

The idea that I need someone else in this world in order to be completed is hilarious.  Let me be very clear – my wife doesn’t complete me, my God completes me.  And as ruggedly handsome as I am – Julie (that’s my wife) finds completion in God as well and definitely not in me.  It is almost sad to think that we have to find another person in this world to feel like life is complete, that we haven’t reached full value until we’ve found that someone. Julie adds so much to my life.  She has made me a better person in the best of ways – somehow she makes my strengths greater while helping my weaknesses disappear.  I am more because of her and I’ve gone further because of her, but I am complete because of God.

The problem is we are all lacking something in life.  We do have a hole to fill.  We want so badly to fill it. To put the pieces of life together, to give us purpose, to be appreciated and valued here on earth, and simply to not be lonely. But if we’re looking for a person to do all that, we’re going to get frustrated. What are the real chances of finding a soul-mate to make all that happen? Just ask Dwight Schrute: “Oh, not likely. Three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don’t add up.” (The Office, Season 5, Episode 18).

That hole can only be filled by the God we were created to seek after.  If we try to fill that hole with a person we not only give that person too much power, we set ourselves up for disappointment, and we clearly undervalue ourselves.

You’re never nothing without someone! In fact, Paul seems to feel in 1Corinthians 7 that as a single person you have more value! I have never known exactly what to do with these thoughts of his, as they seem not to work well in our culture. But they ring true to me: a single adult has the ability to much more openly give of their time to God’s service. And as a church we need to be willing to embrace single ministers and members who can give so much.

There is still the issue of happiness.  I gain a ton of happiness from my wife. In fact, if I could give any “single and looking” person advice on finding a good match, it would be to find someone who makes you smile and laugh a lot!  You can figure out how to make a lot of things work in a relationship, but laughter is often either there or it’s not, and you want it to be there.

With that said, happiness is a decision.  I choose to find happiness in my wife.  Without her it would have been up me to choose to find happiness in something else.  Hey, there are quite a few married people not choosing to find happiness in their spouse.  To those people I would say the opportunity to change your decision is yours to take.  Whatever your life is like, God has given you the opportunity to choose happiness.  That’s on you and no one else.

For my devotions I have recently read the book of Ecclesiastes (not high on my list of Bible books to just read for fun…).  A part of chapter 5 stuck out to me that I feel pertains here:

18 Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life. 19 And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God. (NLT)

It is up to you to enjoy what you have and that is indeed a gift from God.  I don’t think God specifically made Julie and I for each other.  We were given an opportunity and we found happiness there.  We made a marriage covenant and I do believe God will bless that as we hold firmly to it.

These have been the best 10 years of my life and I look forward to the next 10, they’re going to be even better.  And yours could be as well – find fulfillment and completion in God, not in something here on earth, know that you have incredible purpose and great opportunities to bring meaning to your life and the Kingdom of God, and lastly remember that you get to choose to be happy, don’t let what you have or may not have steal your joy in life.