I never really had a room of my own as a kid.  Okay, I had my own bedroom, but it was never totally mine.  My mother liked things clean and in order, so I could never do much with “my room”.  Toys and games were not left out, my bed was always made, shelves neatly arranged with perfect spaces between objects, even my hermit crab and his abode were tidy.

I could try to fight this if I wanted.  Leave out a lego castle, miss the hamper with a dirty shirt and leave it on the floor, or do the unthinkable – make my bed without properly tucking the bed spread around the pillow.  Give it five minutes and this “error” would be corrected.  No comment would be made – this would just happen.

Now it may sound rough but it wasn’t that bad, not bad at all, my mother cared about me and so she took care of me as she thought best and that meant an organized room.

From the beginning of time I believe that mothers and sons have been fighting the battle of “mother knows best” and for the rest of time this will continue.  It has already started with my own wife and son as it does with all mothers and sons – the battle to wipe the face clean.  Oh how my son hates this attention and he puts up a wonderful fight, but his face always ends up clean.

This battle will continue – clean jeans, tucked in shirts, cow-lickless hair, washed cleats, shaved faces, organized entertainment centers, and maybe even a hung-up towel in the bathroom.  To all the sons out there – we can fight these things, but the sooner you realize that you won’t win, the easier your life will be.

All sons deal with this to some degree or another.  But what happens when the “interference” gets more serious?  It is one thing to have your life impacted at home – but what do we do when mom wants to interfere with the rest of life?  When she starts cramping our style, killing our mojo, and squashing our vibe?

Will we let mom interfere?

When I was around 15-16 I had my first girlfriend.  Now in reality this was just the first girlfriend that my parents found out about (you know how that is, right?) – so really this was more like girlfriend #3 but who is counting (okay, I was for sure!).  I remember having a lot of pressure with this girlfriend.  My friends were expecting me to “make some moves” as it were, the girl seemed to have some expectations, and even my dorky calculus teacher was for some reason telling me to “solve for x” (okay he never said that but he was oddly involved and I couldn’t resist the joke – math teachers, right?).

It was in the midst of all this that I can clearly remember my mom wanting to have a talk with me.  It wasn’t that talk (my parents were with it enough to know that a day at public school equals more knowledge than any “birds and bees” conversation could supply) – no it was a very different talk.  She told me it was nice that I had a girlfriend.  She told me that this girl seemed sweet and was pretty – I had chosen well.  Then she told me that I was not to hurt this girl. And she looked me in the eyes and we both knew what that meant.

Cramping my style.  Killing my mojo.  Interfering with life!  With a few words and one look she had done it all.  Now what was I supposed to do?

Well I can tell you what I didn’t do – hurt that girl.  Not because I didn’t want to.  Not because she didn’t want me to.  Not because my friends didn’t want me to.  Not even because my calc teacher didn’t want me to.

No, I didn’t because my mom didn’t want me to.  And because she was the one person courageous enough to sit me down and tell me not to. And because, while she told me not to hurt the girl, I knew that she really cared about me and the real person she was protecting was me.  My life.  My heart.  My soul. My future.  She took care of me in the only way she knew how.

To all the sons out there – will we let mom interfere?

Yeah we will!  Because she loves us.  Because more than any person on earth she wants what’s best for us.  Because she has the courage to make the difficult choices for us and say the difficult things to us.

To the young men out there – give your mom a break.  Listen to her words, put up with her guidance, and respect her wishes.  You may not understand all that she wants for you, but if you know she loves you and wants what’s best for you then you know enough.

And to the mothers out there – keep washing our faces, keep interfering, keep cramping our style.  We need you.  We need you to never stop believing in us.  And most importantly we need you to step up for us when no one else will.

Unfortunately for me, my mother is gone.  She now resides in heaven with God.  Meanwhile, here on earth the impact of her life, her heart, and even her interferences lives on.  Her efforts still live on in the relationships I have with my own wife and kids.  They and I reap the benefits of her decisions for me.  To all the sons out there – thank God for your mom and keep her close.